Stalking is a crime. It is not anything done with the intent of making the targeted victim’s life or health better. Rejected Stalkers, Resentful Stalkers, Intimacy Seekers, Incompetent Suitors, and Predatory Stalkers are doing tremendous harm covertly and overly to their victim’s physical health while completely upending, changing, and destroying their lifestyle.
Who are these people who decide that someone they choose to obsess over is not entitled to their own human rights? Hopefully, this article will help provide victims, therapists, law enforcement officials, lawmakers, pundits, journalists, and the friends and family and coworkers of people being stalked enough insight to be able to help victims cope and stay safe without inadvertently enabling predation.
People who stalk — meaning to hunt other human beings for sport, a sense of power over them, or to dominate and to forcibly take control of the targeted mark’s life — are very specific and extreme Cluster B types if they are otherwise functional in their everyday life. There are some people who are completely out of touch with reality on all levels; these are NOT the people we are talking about.
People who stalk who harbor deep-seated senses of grandiose entitlement are the folks we are discussing. Not folks wearing tin foil hats misperceiving that the sky is falling and who insists their relatives are actually secretly lizards who have taken over the minds and bodies of their relatives. Those folks are likely to need MEDICATION. We are discussing people who by freewill choice seek to invade the privacy rights of others, forcing themselves into their lives the way a RAPISTS or Machiavellian and physically violent predator shows up and seeks to force themselves onto others.
Stalking is defined in most states and European countries as a form of social violence that involves a predatory person forcing themselves into the life of a target with the intent to deprive them of their fundamental human rights or to menace. Why people stalk is the mystery being readily solves by research scientists starting to take victim’s impact statements about how being stalked and forced to live like wild animals being hunted harms their mind, does direct damage to their bodies by exposure to stress and heightened seemingly endless terror, and about the impact it has on both their personal and professional lives.
The REJECTED STALKER is the most common type of stalker most people have a basic familiarity with — you know the person. They tried to get you to be their friend, to be their lover, to stay involved with them in a long-term relationship after they have betrayed the trust of or lost their targeted object’s interest.
The rejected stalker is likely to be suffering from some form of Codependent Personality Disorder — seeing the only way to calm themselves internally in order to abate feelings of social inadequacy or fear of abandonment to be relieved is if and when they are successfully able to FORCE THEIR WAY into their targeted mark’s life.
Rejected stalkers tend to know their victims — at least in an abstract conceptual way — and to have decided they are objects to possess. If the targeted person rejects their social advances, the actual Cluster B personality type and all comorbid psychological disorders of the Stalker themselves will determine how the Stalker acts next.
A RESENTFUL STALKER is the type of person inclined to develop what’s known in self-help social circles as well as to people who study Forensic Psychology of social predators as a “Vendetta Agenda”. Reading up on the course of conduct, consciousness of guilt, and abject refusal to grant their target a right to life, to quiet enjoyment of their time on the planet, or to any form of say about who they are or are not “forced” (against their will or by submission) to interact with socially can help victims and the people who actually care about and routinely interact with targets of social predators to understand the mentality of the person or of the peer groups aligning to mob or to actively hunt them.
Resentful stalkers make the intellectual decision that they not only have a right to harm other people but they think it’s okay and socially prestigious for them to insist their victim deserves whatever sick and twisted things they choose to do in order to intentionally inflict emotional distress. Resentful stalkers tend to be obsessed with things like social domination and all socially toxic forms of power. Their behavior reflects anti-social personality disorder ethics — with Resentful Stalkers aka Vendetta Agenda Stalkers displaying typically escalating traits over time of Psychopathic predators.
INTIMACY SEEKERS are Stalkers who think they have a RIGHT to have or to continue a personal relationship with someone who has clearly expressed they want nothing to do with the person in question. They are also the most likely type to develop EROTOMANIA fantasies, leading them to believe that not only are they a person of importance in the life of their target but that they are in some form of mutually agreed to, interactive and socially enmeshed relationship.
Here’s a hint — THEY AREN’T.
Intimacy seekers are the social equivalent of Peeping Toms, jerking off while spying on the target of their misguided obsession through a window. They are the type of person who goes on eBay and buys the same products the target of their dysfunction has purchased in order to take trophies that make them feel more intimate and in the life of their target. They do things like taking trophy photos in all the places they know are special to their target. They seek to steal and to keep personal items that belong to their victim so they can hold, and touch, and look at them fondly – reliving the excitement of hunting their victim.
Intimacy seekers who stalk and aggress other people in order to force inclusion in the crime victim’s life are the mugger who steals a driver’s license then shows up at the victim’s home, breaks in the house claiming they have been invited, and they help themselves to the food in the refrigerator before settling down in their fixation interest’s favorite chair or sneaking off to roll in the victim’s bedsheets while sniffing and chewing on that person’s dirty underwear.
Erotomania stalkers are not right in the head in any way — but most keep their fetish for their love interests or objects of social affection hidden from their own personal friends, co-workers, and family members. They are the ones who build secret shrines to their object of obsession — complete with stolen personal items, trophy pictures sullying the victim’s memories while invading their privacy and intentionally forcibly seeking to poison their memories, and oftentimes gross copycat rituals the Erotomania Stalker actively engages in on a daily basis to covertly strive to feel or to physically seem closer to their victim.
INCOMPETENT SUITORS are what they are — people who lack social skills and typically who lack neurological emotional intelligence. They see something or someone they want so they try to take it.
Incompetent Suitors are typically nothing more than grab-me gotchas.
We call them that so victims who have been on their receiving end of one of their power grabs or assaults understand what is happening in the mind of the predator when they are actively engaging in the socially caustic and arguably illegal anti-social behaviors they seem to on a regular basis. Here’s the drill — think about the man who catcalls a woman or walks by in the office and gives his romantic interest a passing grab. Or the toxic love interest who has been told or asked time and time again to stop asking out someone who is married, otherwise uninterested, or who has been lawfully protected from having their right to life and liberty and to the pursuit of their own happiness against their will interrupted.
A grab-me gotcha personality type sees something they want and they take it. In less extreme forms of the disorder, they might steal something like someone else’s pen off a desk without regard to it being the property right of another person. If they take the pen because they KNOW the person and they want the trophy object to fantasize and to fetishize at home in private, understand what you are seeing is an incredibly disturbed likely to be covertly situationally violent form of a predator. One who is not only egocentric and grandiose but who is likely to get their sexual thrills and private life emotional kicks by feeling like they are socially dominant and above the law, prideful of the feeling acting like a creepy stalker gives them.
Typically, the ONLY person the Incompetent Suitor or Erotomania Stalker wants to know about their clandestine activities are their target and anyone who they see as a personal rival to them blocking them from winning the target’s affection. That’s why when a target does something like enters a new friendship, professional environment where they have been welcomed, or gets involved with a new love interest their Stalkers tend to escalate and to add that person or peer group onto their list to socially harass, to physically hunt, and to aggress.
If the Stalker with the intent to dominate, to “own”, and or to control the mind, body, and emotions of the object of their obsession is triggered by an unrelated event in their personal life or by Narcissistic Rivalry formed as a distorted type of romantic jealousy fueled by their own toxic desire to harm and to control, stalking victims can expect incoming privacy violations or overt assaults. The Stalker, feeling insecure or raging because they demand attention and believe they are entitled to force their will or themselves onto the person who they strive to puppeteer, only cares about themselves — believing they are above the law, entitled to force themselves into the lives of others, entitled to do physical harm to targets, and imagining they have MORE rights than others.
PREDATORY STALKERS are the most dangerous types as they typically Stalk not only because authority figures, their friends, and personal loved ones choose to encourage them to be overtly antagonistic, psychopathic, anti-social, and violent but because they tend to be addicted to the feeling of actively (not passively) hunting, terrorizing, and harming other humans.
Predatory people are what they are — socially aggressive, prone to actively engaging in all forms of social harm and violence towards other people, and likely to behave that way while bragging. You know the type — the abusive sibling who does whatever it takes to provoke or to bait their brother or sister into reacting in self-defense to antagonism who then gaslights and overtly lies to mom or to dad about why their tortured sibling eventually hauls off a smacks them.
The problem with taking the bait and interacting with a serial provoker like a Predatory Stalker and striving to communicate your displeasure with them by interacting at their level is the same problem with the pig in the mud wrestling analogy. The people who choose to wrestle with the pig in its preferred muddy environment end up feeling nothing but dirty while the squealing swine enjoys the physical sensation of forcing someone to acknowledge their PHYSICAL as well as SOCIAL DOMINANCE.
Refuse to wrastle in the mud with swine. The pig likes it and it is nothing more than a life impeding waste of pro-social time.
Predatory Stalkers are oftentimes Traumatized Empaths who have spent their lifetime being groomed to socially embrace toxic values. They are the people who are taught to hunt prey that never fights back… for pleasure. They are the TROPHY COLLECTORS who believe that harming other people or making people feel physical sensations like hyper-adrenalization and terror is both fun and funny for the predator.
They are also the most likely people to go home and to brag about things like crimes they have committed, gaslighting or authority figures or of their own friends and family members not in the know that they have gotten away with, and to share the graphic details with Sadistic Voyeurs in their PERSONAL social circles who get off on encouraging them to commit atrocities in order to elevate their social status within the mob or pack of their own social supporters and enablers.
Realizing that someone you may or may not know personally is doing things like following you around, stalking your social media contacts using electronic technology, and that they are likely to do you serious harm if and when they physically ever have the opportunity changes the lives of most people who — for whatever reason — have been targeted. It’s terrifying, life and health destroying, and completely unjust to have to suffer.
Victims oftentimes are told by people who are profoundly undereducated about the forensic psychology and or the behavioral warning signs of likely to be violent social predators that they — the victim — are to blame for having been marked. Victims are lied to and about, accused of having either done something in this life or another to engender the Cluster B person’s fixation.
Victims are told by gaslighters who willfully act like social predators themselves that “it takes two to Tango”, blaming the victim for not only being abused but ridiculing and grooming toxic shame in their minds if they respond to abuse in a HEALTHY WAY. Namely, by feeling upset, violated, typically helpless to make the abuse stop, and humiliated for daring to seek social protection and emotional support after being forced to live in a heightened state of terror.
It’s never a victim’s fault they are being abused or in any way socially neglected by ANYONE doing the abusing or the active, willful, and or passive neglecting. A person who is being forced to live in a state of non-stop heightened hypervigilance and fear is likely to eventually suffer from C-PTSD and complex emotional issues related to their own self concept if and when their own loved ones and people of social affection and trust gaslight and tell them that the right way to deal with being hunted is to IGNORE THE STALKER or to invite the violent and psychologically unstable person into their home, their life, and to actively allow that person to take over their life.
If a predator accosts someone on the street — for instance, running up to a stranger, assaulting them, then standing over them screaming GIVE ME YOUR PURSE, YOUR JEWELRY, and or your WALLET — what judge would tell the crime victim that the assault was their fault? What law professional in charge of trying the case would tell the victim they are not only to blame for having been targeted but that their response to feel terrified of the violent criminal is really what’s wrong with this picture — not the social aggressor’s behavior?
What judge says… you know what? I know you were beaten, raped, terrorized by, or robbed by that person — but unless you “forgive” their behavior and give them the keys to your home, access to your bank accounts, permission to enter your bed and the bed of your romantic partners and your children, and to completely call the shots for every large and small personal and professional as well as day to day, minute to minute victim action or activity YOU (the VICTIM) are to be shunned by society.
Stalkers who know their victims are COMMON. Stalkers who fixate on total strangers, harm that person, then pop out of the woodwork like some pulpy hand-carved Jack in the Box claiming “look at me look at me!” are NOT people known to the victim… no matter how much they CLAIM the relationship is reciprocal in nature when they object of their obsession strives to self-defend.
A stalking victim knowing the NAME of their abuser or being able to chronicle abuse patterns is not “in” a relationship with their predator. They are the victim of a crime and person whose course of conduct not only typically indicates an awareness of guilt (when they lie to authority figures or their own loved ones to hide their behavior) but also a willful intent to actively commit acts of social terrorism imbued with malfeasance.
Understand that a person who simply has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is not likely to stalk, to actively engage in sadistic behavior, or to stalk. They simply aren’t likely to take the time to think about anyone as much or more than they apply their time to simply hedonistically indulging themselves in whatever is their favorite pastimes.
Know someone Histrionic might do something like obsessing about their favorite celebrity, seeking to emulate them while giving them credit for inspiring a look. They are not likely to try to replace or to pretend to BE that person in society or with the famous or status having person’s social circles.
Really GET that someone who is a stone-cold sociopath likes routine and people to be compliant with their demands far more than the excitement of over blood lusting. They abuse or make credible threats of being willing to do physical and or social harm to targeted people in order to control their behavior and emotions. To them, people doing anything because they are led by emotions — sane or unhealthy — is foolish behavior. How do they make that determination? By allowing their IQ to override their EQ to the point that their neurological processing strictly reflects emotional intelligence absent, socially competitive, truly Hobbesian Cluster B logic.
What is the motivation of the Stalker?
What do you know about the Stalker’s forensic psychology?
Was there a new or repeating cycle of Narcissistic Abuse in the Stalker’s personal or professional life that has caused them to revert to looping tapes in their own mind keeping the focus on their object of DISTRACTION? Are they targeted you to fill emotional space and intellectual time rather than tending to things that are happening in their real life?
Does your Stalker appear to rage when and if life presents them with the natural and healthy opportunity to make social progress, to move forward, or to change?
Is your Stalker desperate to seek relevancy in their own life or in the lives and hearts or minds of others? If so — do you see them looking to YOU to validate their self-worth or personal existence?
Be mindful the answers to all of these incredibly pertinent and insight-producing questions can let you know not only how to go gray rock related to observing your Stalker’s pattern or in any way escalating or repeat pattern of covert situational abuse behaviors but they can actually help you figure out ways to keep yourself socially, spiritually, and emotionally safer.
While no one can control another’s behavior with the exception of menacing, we — as targets and or prospective targets of people who are egocentric and socially violent — have the ability and the right to self-educate about what makes Cluster B people tick and think that they are “right”.
People who believe they have a right to a relationship with another human — be that with a love interest, a family member, a friend, a professional contact, a child, or a grandchild — without that person or without that person’s guardian’s permission are a very nurtured and typically pervasively caustically enabled type of human. Bullying their way through the proverbial China Shop of life priding themselves on harming others and causing social decay is their personal MO.
Stalkers come in different types ranging from incompetent or rejected suitors to overly violent and predatory types. It’s a sign that someone doing the stalking is likely to snap and become physically capable of doing extreme forms of social and or physical harm to their targets while totally destroying their object of affection’s health, neuropsychology, personal, professional, and typically FINANCIAL life.
Understand VICTIMS LIVES MATTER. Especially your own if you are the person being forced against your will to interact or to fear a person who has taken it upon themselves to behave as if you — YOU — are simply NOT A PERSON.
If you are being hunted and toyed with like a cat plays with a mouse it intends to torture then to kill and to eat, make some noise! State your case to authorities plainly. Get your concerns voiced in public and on the record as discreetly or publicly as necessary to ensure there is NO QUESTION you want NO CONTACT from the Stalker or from anyone who socially enables them whatsoever.
Hold your heart in a place where it’s well known you are a person who has — for whatever reason — been forced to tolerate being contacted or aggressed against your will.
Lots of other people in human history have been forced to endure the same or similar treatment. While it is in no earthy way condoning that they have, it’s helpful to do things like to read their accounts of things that they learned about how to cope.
Reading up on things like the life stories of escaped and hunted slaves or of Stoic philosophers can help you learn how to remain in a position of gray rock and flexible neuroplasticity while enduring the total destruction of your sense of differentiated social identity between you and your Stalker the person doing the hunting of you and abuse of all forms of social hospitality and contract that they are doing.
Living long and prospering tends to involve a degree of right to quiet enjoyment of personal life coupled with a right to privacy.
The next time someone asks you why being stalked or hunted is so bothersome to you and so upsetting, follow them around the room making noise and catcalls while pointing your finger at them an inch from their body and when they tell you to stop saying, “I’m not touching you!” to induce the biopsychological awareness of being unnerved by a person seeing to deliberately upset you. If they find the experience unpleasant or uncomfortable to experience or to endure for even a few minutes, ask them to take the feeling of annoyance and helplessness as well as invalidation they feel being told they are not being abused because the person doing the aggressive social behavior has not physically assaulted them or done harm to them YET.
Different types of Stalkers engage in various kinds of pattern behavior.
Victims have a choice in how to respond or to react to the social aggressors…
But here’s the deal. If you have been marked for social destruction, target acquisition by a predator seeking to dominate and forcing victim submission, or you can’t seem to shake someone who for whatever reason has decided to make YOU the object of their obsession… and you pretend it’s “no big deal” or your family and those closest to you fail to acknowledge the real-life impact on your social health and physical biology you are actually willfully enabling your own ABUSE by PROXY.
Protect yourself, stay mindful, and take whatever self-care steps are necessary to cope with the horrific and completely life and typically heart altering condition of living your life as a STALKING VICTIM. Taking the threat seriously does not mean you are encouraging your own abuse or in some way entering willingly into a social relationship with the predator.
Always remember — someone who is STALKING is likely to have not only a grandiose ego and no sense of social respect for the lawful or moral rights of other people but they are likely to derive sensory pleasure from the very act of harming or personally physically terrifying targeted and ultimately BULLIED victims of their deliberate homegrown domestic terrorism.
People who stalk reveal NOTHING about their targeted victim. What they do is give their abuse target and anyone wise enough to go gray rock and to observe patterns of abuse the opportunity to get a glimpse of the Stalker’s most well hidden, truly dysfunctional, and arguably psychotic nurtured personal core nature.