The Family Smear Campaign. Those who have been one’s victim are likely to immediately let out a sigh reading the frame and to experience some form of time travel related PTSD flashback that takes them back to a time when they can physically remember the sensation of emotion caused in their bodies due to other people’s behavior.
Family scapegoating is hostile stuff. It’s never done with pro-social intention or to make the family unit in any way greater.
People who are Cluster B tend to be egocentric and pervasively emotionally hedonistic. If you have one of them in the family unit, understand everyone exposed to them are likely to be targeted for social recruitment as Flying Monkeys to abuse a predator’s target by proxy.
Running a smear campaign against someone who a member of the family or who you personally abused, socially neglected, or mistreated is anti-social behavior. Make no mistake about it that it’s also profoundly narcissistic by the Machiavellian act’s essence and nature.
Family units that are toxic are always socially competitive. Circling the Bandwagon is the key phrase to research when they exhibit forms of pack hunting behavior that in any way appear to resemble something collaborative.
Toxic family members who act like Hyenas (rather than simple Flying Monkeys) by either nurture or their own Beta Sycophant natures are the people Forensic Historian Niccolo Machiavelli accurately described as “fickle” people. Prone to all manners of Sadistic Voyeurism, Meddling, and Pot Stirring behaviors and thrilling when given an excuse to actively engage in mobbing while bloodlusting, they are the people who are in the crowd of the Roman Colosseum cheering for Gladiators to stab lions who are chained and essentially defenseless for their pleasure as active spectators watching.
Surviving their taunts, baiting, provocations, and jeering with any form of composure or human dignity intact is oftentimes physically nearly impossible for their targets. Whether you are a Preferred Scapegoat or simply the “Target – Du – Jour” at any particular hour, expect your biopsychology to be profoundly upset, energetically attacked, and biomechanically disrupted.
If you know you are heading into the arena to face down Gladiators and you are the Lion, the less you respond and react to their taunts and offensive game playing the more likely you are to be physically able to keep your wits about you long enough to either survive the trauma exposure or to escape.
Remember — what people who bait and provoke are seeking is someone or something to toy with to alleviate their own self of social anxiety and boredom. Remember!
Stop letting their existence and emotions matter in your head more to you than your own. Realize that you have actual human rights just as much or socially more so than anyone who is prone to actively engaging in problematic behavior.
Realize people who can’t mock and shun those who can… while seeking to benefit from their work products unjustly regardless of whether or not their patsy is included in their social world or exiled. They need their Enablers to throw and invite them to the holiday party they spend all year long daydreaming up new ways to ruin.
Abusers and people who enable socially predatory human beings are strange. Not uncommon, but typically so profoundly Stockholm Syndrome bound to socially competitive thinking groomed into them by their earliest childhood caretakers and toxic social influences along the way in their life that they have no earthly idea how to treat themselves, their family members, or other people “right”.
[Right meaning in a pro-social manner that creates win-win health as well as spiritual and civil life quality for everybody.]
They, meaning both the Abusers and their Flying Monkey Enablers, are the people who are feeling uncomfortable around you and like they are not in control of their social environment.
Why are they singling you out to torment or to seek to treat like the unwanted child or black sheep of the family?
Because of everything that is right about you that may lead you to abandon them… not because they actually think your feelings or life experience as a person actually matters.
Because they see your DNA as somehow their personal property.
And, they fear if you wake up and realize that they are Cluster B and not people who add any form of value to your life that you might socially embarrass them by leaving or somehow deprive them of their plaything that they treat like a pinata.
You are actually being targeted for social and emotional harm by Cluster B people in your family because you have higher EQ and because they fear people in the family love, like, and respect you or prefer your company more. Not because there is something wrong with you or because you deserve sub-human treatment.
Toxic family units run ongoing smear campaigning narratives about all of the family members — the Abusers included. The smear campaigns go on behind people’s back by years, typically with the worst gaslighting smears spread by the people who pretend to be the family peacekeepers or mediators.
Realizing that people who are narcissistic are socially competitive by nurture is the first step in applying Gray Rock social observation skills to assess the social behaviors of packs. Be like Jane Goodall noting who in the family sucks up to whom while telling others behind that person’s back what.
Then, demystify the social intrigue.
Realize anyone who lies to or about you is socially untrustworthy. Not just untrustworthy in the sense that they should not be told confidences, but untrustworthy in that they are likely to engage in socially competitive, gaslighting spreading, saboteur types of profoundly family and target undermining behavior.
Is what they are choosing to gossip about something that needs to be discussed? Be honest then choose to discuss whatever is necessary with your personal therapist — not with people interested in using whatever they think they know or can find out about you to do you social harm while pit fighting you in social competitions with your family members.
Do their word choices to family members about themselves and about others enhance communication or cause other people to be harmed or triangulated? Make mental note of any red flags or pattern behavior of note that is relevant to deciding whether or not someone is aware they are actively engaging in toxic behavior.
People who talk behind other people’s backs or who say one thing to a person’s face and another to another are not mindlessly engaging in wrongful behavior. Jesus gave no special request for his father, God, to show such predators karmic favors.
If you can save a low contact relationship with a family member who is not a bad person but who makes occasional terrible social and emotional decisions, it’s prudent to strive to do until the point comes in your life where you realize that it’s not necessary to spend time with people socially who are toxic.
We are told that in order to be good people we must love and like our family members unconditionally. When we don’t love or like one of them automatically, we self-shame and talk ourselves into continuing to give that person a chance to mature as a person into someone we can effortlessly decide to include in our life.
Problem people — people with Cluster B personality types — are not interested in valuing the time they spend with other people unless they are objectifying a family member and trying to keep that person’s time monopolized with the express intent of depriving other people of being allowed to functionally enjoy also having time to spend with that person.
That sentence is awkward and hard to say or to emotionally process for good reason.
Children are the most common people who are victimized by smear campaigners and treated like flags or objects to be socially captured. Playing Capture the Flag by squabbling about who is who’s favorite child, sibling, niece, nephew, parent, grandparent, or grandchild and by playing grab-me-gotcha style games with a child’s time and visitation is the first place in life most children are exposed to people blurting manipulative language to make a child fixate on trusting and or on liking the triangulation groomer more.
Children taught by toxic grandparents, for instance, not to trust that they are safe in the company of their own parent… pitted like a Golden Child against their own father or mother as if their birth parent is a sibling… is a common theme that emerge as family smear campaign’s develop against a targeted adult child of an abusive parent.
Sibling Rivalry is manufactured by toxic parents, then for a lifetime of the adult child weaponized. The sibling made to feel rivalry for a parent’s affection is likely to experience the world around them as socially competitive whether it is or not in reality due to the NLP groomer’s malevolent, Narcissistic Abuser grooming tactic.
The toxic parent who abuses a child then pretends the child was somehow difficult or at fault… or worse, the parent who abuses or neglects a minor child then lies and calls the child crazy or immoral while pretending the child traumatization never actually happened. Smear campaigns born from a criminal’s desire to hide or to excuse their anti-social behavior tend to do lifetime harm to the predator’s mark while causing everyone in the family unit involved to become spiritually, socially, and morally less.
Surviving is easier when and if all contact between family members brutalizing one another is lowered or eliminated. That means withdrawing your social and emotional attention and interest in interacting with people who smear campaign or who are abusive.
If you are lucky enough to find yourself in exile or the discard pile from a toxic family unit, congratulations! Enjoy the time to heal your own body and neuropsychology free from people forcing their toxic energy and emotional dysregulating behavior into your life.
When the hoover and attention seeking baits and smear campaigning provocations start up again as they are likely to do by cycle and over holidays, keep the faith and strive to float-feel your way through.
The less you interact with people who are abusive or who are Abuser supporters, the more quickly your biology will be able to functionally recover from Stockholm Syndrome grooming that made you act so mindlessly codependent before.