The cost of being kind without setting healthy boundaries is great for Autistics, Empaths, and People Pleasers. One tends to become fiercely codependent without realizing it, leaving a wide-open opportunity for toxic people and Narcissistic Abuse purveyors to abuse goodwill and to mistreat hospitality.
People on the Autism Spectrum are more than seven times as likely to have things happen to them like sexual or social abuse as an infant, toddler, elementary school child, middle school age child, high school student, young adult, person in their prime, or during their [our] senior years. So are kind people who have been groomed to behave in ways that are co-dependent (whether or not they realize codependent behavior makes them ideal marks for Cluster B social predators).
People who are kind by nature without needing to be prompted or requiring a reward are some of the most sparkling gems on the planet, metaphorically speaking. They are diamonds in the true sense of the word: forged under pressure and able to take the heat while remaining true to who and what they are without cracking.
Individuals who are born kind tend to meet diagnostic criteria for being on the Autism Spectrum. A few hours of self-help literature reading about things like Stockholm Syndrome and High Functioning Autism coupled with pairing searches for relevant terms with the word “empathy” attached or appended tends to provide all the wake up call they need to have the ah-ha moment that leads to successful re-parenting of their own inner child in such a way their autistic needs are celebrated and lovingly met.
Empaths and people known as HSP (meaning Highly Sensitive Personalities) tend to emerge medically on this aforementioned scale. Put them on a brain scan to see how different their [our] minds work energetically.
People who suffer from Cluster B personality disorders are who and exactly what they are; egocentric, prone to enacting all forms of social and physical violence, and medically suffering from emotional and sensory learning disabilities. Many are colorblind, have difficulty with sensory processing issues related to hearing or smell, and or they have FAS or some form of genetic damage caused by their mother’s behavior in life before they were born.
Cluster B people tend to target people on the EMPATH end if the Autism Spectrum for social use and mistreatment. Because Auties who are neurologically predisposed to behaving in ways that are wholly collaborative, they seldom (if ever) understand when first meeting a social predator that that person is likely to be sizing them up from the first moment they meet for social harnessing, personal situational abuse, and how to do them (us) the most social, physical, or emotional harm.
Learning how to spot red flags of social predation, how to set and enforce boundaries, and to engage in self-care for pro-social reasons are skill sets that Autistic high functioning adults and all neurotypical people can learn. People with low to no medical forms of EQ cannot — EQ meaning emotional intelligence, something that since 2015 can be medically proven as present or absent thanks to magical new brain scan technology.
Lie Detector tests are only easily passed by people who are not on the Autism Spectrum and by people who are born biologically prone to ASPD behavior. Anti-social people lack a conscience; therefore, when they lie their body produces no deviation in reaction due to their Machiavellian cold, bone-chilling core nature… while the most innocent of Empath HSP are unlikely to be able to generate a positive response even about whether or not they were born a gender or their own name.
The Dalai Lama says, “Be kind whenever possible.” Then he adds that being kind is always possible, personifying the Guardian wisdom and Autistic HSP Empath pro-social biological ethic of behavior while revealing his own genetic and culturally intuitive understanding.
The Cluster B person claims they don’t like or respect people who were taken and held hostage, brutally tortured as war crime victims.
Machiavelli spoke at length about whether or not it was better to be feared or to be loved. Being loved without respect led to abuse of leaders historically, while being able to set and enforce boundaries justly, swiftly, and without guilt or hesitation coupled with being responsive to the social and emotional daily and generational needs of a people let rules be loved and successful in life while their people crafted legacy files about them that showed historical fondness and favor.
Dante places people who betray the hospitality and kindness of others in the same class of person with Lucifer, Judas, and Brutus for a reason. Flying Monkey and self-promoting, grandiose and ruthless behaviors are not only profoundly illogical and rooted in people’s Object Permanence Syndrome delusions, they cause individual and mobbing and or blood-lusting, truly profoundly misguided humans to choose to do things by free will choice that are profoundly caustic neurologically and socially to themselves (physically) as well as to others.
Setting healthy boundaries involves having a fundamental understanding of how to differentiate ourselves (yourself, myself, our-self) from others in a way that allows functional collaboration and communication without requiring codependent behavior. Learning the difference between socially collaborative behavior and toxic thinking inspired physical human lifestyle choices is key to rescuing Stockholm Syndrome nurtured devolutionary thinking.
People with porous boundaries tend to behave in life like People Pleasers — unable to define self aside from pleasing others. Those who are Alpha social predators tend to seek such types of kind and loving people out.
Once they have us in their social sight or mind’s eye for targeting and acquisition…
Unless someone gets to their mark and lets them know how to tell the difference between someone using Love Fraud tactics like trauma bonding rituals to manipulate their [our] mind and neurobiology and gives them [us] the data that there is a different way to behave socially or personally in a relationship or to live, folks who are kind or on the Autism Spectrum — prone to be trusting due to collaborative nature…
The Cluster B person pretending to be a Sheepdog guarding the flock… the one who secretly targets the weakest among flocked society for social use and abuse…
That person profits socially by harming his or her marks (typically while the victims of hospitality abuse and mistreatment suffer and live lives of impoverishment or neglect). It’s unjust, personified — but something far worse than that.
Social Predators — people who pretend to be good but who are secretly or those who are overtly proud of being able to do things like use words or violent acts to harm others — cause human societies to devolve. Thomas Kuhn was gentle in his description of them, but if he was reading this post today he would more than likely smile and nod and say something like, “Mmm hmm… yes… Dinosaurs.”
If Kuhn understood the impact of things like Cluster B personality types on individual human neurology, his world and Philosophy of Science studies would have more than likely made (for he and others) far more logical, scientific sense. STEM professionals suffering from profound lack of emotional intelligence [due to their steadfast refusal to encourage healthy neuroplasticity in themselves or their children coupled with thousands of likely years of FAS damage that this Ministry suspects is the cause of all Object Permanence Syndrome or personality disorders in humans] do profound anatomical neural processing damage to themselves intentionally and to their children the same way some people choose to self-mutilate.
Henry David Thoreau says friends are kind to one another’s dreams. He was a highly intelligent person — both with regard to IQ, EQ, and having healthful neuroplasticity.
If we are all who we decide to be, choose to be kind — but do so with boundaries.
It’s kind to say…
You know I am so incredibly thankful that you were thinking of me and sent this lovely invitation but no, I will not be able to join you at the event on whatever date the person inviting you selected…
If and when you are overwhelmed or disinclined to attend.
Use the same formula in your mind when someone attention seeking baits or tries to provoke a fight.
Thank them for thinking of you but be too busy to be interested in arguing or in reacting.
As Blase Pascal says, kind words don’t cost much — but they accomplish… everything pro-social in nature that is humane and collaborative.
When you have a choice to be kind, do. But remember to withdraw from any social, personal, or professional interaction when someone else is not kind to you or to anyone else in or anywhere out of the room.
Otherwise, the cost of failing to set or to enforce healthy boundaries in life and to behave in ways resembling porous boundary defined and codependent (rather than collaborative) people is the mass development of things like global stress illnesses and C-PTSD resulting from social exposure to trauma and to the people who cause who seek to manufacture nothing but chaos.