Ever wonder if you are being too sensitive or controlling because someone who treated you poorly and abused your hospitality said that you were after they harmed you on purpose or knowingly? You are the victim of a gaslighting social predator, one prone to emotionally and socially mistreating other people. Emotional abuse is common in …
Small talk and casual conversation survival tips for Scapegoats, Whistleblowers, and Abuse Survivors
If you have been the scapegoat of a social predator or you are a Whistleblower who outed a pack of bullies, chances are no one needs to tell you that you have been the victim of people committing deplorable acts of social, emotional, spiritual, and health impacting psychological and/or physical abuse. But how to explain …
How to talk to Adult Children about their own Child Abuse issues
Adults who are aware of child abuse or pervasive neglect issues have a duty to report. Parents of children who are abused or at risk of being abused have a moral and legal obligation to protect. If you failed to do one or both (regardless of the reason), expect your adult child or adult children to have …
An open letter from Abuse Advocates to all Abusers and Abuse Enablers
The following “Open letter from Abuse Advocates to all Abusers and Abuse Enablers” was shared with our team in response to the civic social crisis known as the election debacle of 2016. The CLUSTER B nation has risen using a blend of old-fashioned grassroots marketing, gaslighting, and smear campaigning coupled with a heavy push to …
Grieving the loss of relationship with an abusive Adult Child
Letting go of an abusive or narcissistic child is tough. Hold space for them to mature but expect NOTHING. If they have a personality disorder — whatever the reason — loving them from a distance and getting on with YOUR OWN LIFE as a HUMAN (rather than as a parent) is CRUCIAL to Narcissistic Abuse …
Abusers process toxic shame differently than victims of social aggression
Abusers process toxic shame differently than victims of social aggression. It’s a biologically inspired truth. While victims tend to self-reflect and blame themselves for having problems with personal, professional, and romantic relationships, Abusers tend to blame shift compulsively and pride themselves in the thought of having won in what they perceive is nothing more than …
Overlooking abuse empowers and enrages Abusers
Overlooking abuse is not polite. It actually empowers and enrages Abusers who attention seek constantly for their own personal gain and delight. By most contemporary psychological definitions, the verb “ABUSE” means to treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly. It can also mean cruel and violent treatment of a person …
Spiritual musings for people with C-PTSD and targeted scapegoats
Happiness depends on ourselves, especially as targeted scapegoats. It does not matter who hurt you, who does not like you, or who does not approve of a single, solitary thing we say, think, believe, “intend”, mean, or do. For better or for worse, spiritual happiness depends solely on ourselves as people. No circumstance or another human …
Surviving holidays with the narcissistic Mother-in-Law
Surviving holidays like Mother’s Day (or family gatherings with the narcissistic Mother-in-Law on any ordinary day) can be a tough chore for any romantic partner. If that person is you, don’t lose hope. Seeking validation from the in-laws for being a wonderful support system for their ‘Golden Child’ is something wholly unnecessary to do. It’s …
Adult Children with Cluster B personalities socially abuse and scapegoat parents
Adult Children with Cluster B personalities hurt parents and families. That is the simplest and most direct way to explain the challenges faced by parents of offspring who grow up to have full blown Cluster B personalities. Whether a child suffered trauma or neglect as a youngster stops mattering so much or being an excuse …
When the kind parent is the targeted scapegoat
Cluster B parents, whether a mother or a father, love nothing more than using and abusing their romantic partner. But no betrayal of affection or trust cuts deeper than when a toxic parent actually teaches and encourages their offspring to disrespect, ridicule, and socially abuse the nicer parent of the bunch. When the kind parent …
What does going no contact mean?
If you truly love a Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sociopath, the most loving thing you can ever do for yourself or them is to leave them be, exactly as they are, and go full on NO CONTACT. By loving yourself enough to call it quits and move on with your life, you also fully allow them …