Flying Monkey

Tales from the Dark Side… with glitter.

Pervasive Bullying by Toxic Family
United States
It has been now two years NO CONTACT . I still continue seeing my therapist online via Skype. She's also a Life Coach --  I really don't know what I would have done without her.  Your page's advice to only seek counseling from a therapist who has PERSONAL experience being targeted for scapegoat abuse is INSPIRED. Working over the phone, by email, using the chat feature and on Skype with a person who not only is trained to help, but "gets it"is making all the difference helping my two college-aged sons and I survive the nightmare that is our toxic family. I would like to thank you for the page  and support group pages your group runs on social media sites as well. Just seeing your posts around the clock and so many other people confirming patterns of abuse has helped me realize Cluster B people are not the boogie men I thought they were. Just knowing I am not alone and that you guys are here for and with people like me has saved my life. Your post shares and articles made me feel good about myself on many troubling family crisis days now that in the past I used to find almost impossible to get through. They are still  hard to get through, now, but I feel like for the first time quite possibly ever that there is hope. Your staff and writers give me that -- Hope. It has also help in learning that their are many in the similar situations. Thank you for... well, not for being abuse victims yourself but for helping me realize I am not damaged or worthless if I call myself an abuse survivor.
Life after escaping the Malignant Narcissist
United States
Please post if possible.... I have finally moved forward and have not had any contact with my Malignant Narcissists for 2 months. He was served his PPO and told he has to contact me through a state official mediator about our child together. My severe anxiety has subsided and the trauma bond anxiety is gone. I started working out and stopped old, bad habits. I would like for you all to know it is possible to break the cycle, find yourself again and be a warrior not just a victim. This page has taught me a lot about myself and about Cluster B personality types. It has motivated me to become the woman, mother and human I knew I could be. It showed me that I wasn't alone in this dark twisted battle and that I had a choice. I chose ME and my happiness. I feel great being with no one. I don't feel alone anymore and I see how beautiful I really am on the inside and out. Thanks you support group. Thanks for giving me sanity, courage and strength. And most of all LOVE!. XOXO. A fan.
Surviving and Thriving Far Away from Abusers and Flying Monkeys
I appreciate you very much. Keep up with your excellent work!
This page is RIGHT! Education truly is the Key to Narcissistic Abuse RECOVERY!
Thank you, FMD, for helping shake me awake! Education is truly key to Narcissistic Abuse recovery. Keep researching, learning, studying, and growing. Trust the page info. Once you learn to spot the red flags, avoiding entanglements with social predators starts to get EASY! <3
The Apple Never Seems to Fall Far from the NPD Tree
United States
I stumbled across your site a few weeks back and have been looking through it in amazement. Although I have already moved o, for some time, from a narcissistic ex, my son is unfortunately stuck dealing with them on a biweekly basis. Thank you for helping me be a better parent to him while teaching him how to avoid thinking like someone with Cluster B. My biggest fear is he will turn out like his mother, worrying the apple won't fall far from the tree. What I learn reading here helps not only me!!!
Coping with C-PTSD Pain and Anxiety
Thank you. Have been doing Epson salt baths since you suggested that a while back. Walking on eggshells for so many years made me feel like I was about to have a heart attack! Now, when I feel a panic attack coming on (like they say) or have aches and pains, I head straight in to meditate while I soak in the bath. Magnesium Deficiency and Adrenal Fatigue from that fight or flight stuff you talk about on your page is serious. Self-care is and remains an essential part of everyday healing.
Adopted a Child who is Cluster B by Nature
Thank you SO MUCH for understanding. My daughter's life is in danger after adopting a 6 month old baby girl who has always exhibited unusual behavior from day 1.  The child is an adult now, and we've all spend the past 25 years desperately trying to figure out what's wrong. We've done all we can to show the little girl love, but after reading your site, we feel going low to no contact with her is safest and probably most loving thing we can all do for both ourselves and her. If we try to help, she does nothing but takes advantage then rages. Her preferred scapegoat target is -- for some reason -- is her adoptive, doting, and loving adoptive mother.
Articles with Real Content Instead of Fluff
United States
Thank you for sharing so many comprehensive articles to read through. When I need a quick reminder, I read the short posts from the glossary... but when I am feeling low, confused, or really triggered, it really helps to be able to sit down and read one article with all the advice I need to help me learn something new. It helps so much to feel like I am not alone while riding out the waves of emotions that seem to knock all abuse victims for a loop when and if they suffer from flashbacks related to C-PTSD issues.
Hoovering Co-Parent
United States
I want to say thank you for your Facebook page and all the amazing articles you have on this type of abuse. I am in love with a sociopathic NPD and can't let go. The most painful thing is knowing the truth but still wanting to be with the man.. Wanting him to be normal. We have a child together and are in a whole court mess, while still seeing each other every so often. Now that I am finally starting to come to terms with the very real fact he is who he is and that most likely he's always going to be considered in this lifetime to be UNTREATABLE is helping me learn how to separate the image of this man I love in my head from the true reality. He's a Love Fraud con artist who uses our daughter to gain access to me, then once we're alone he starts to hoover. I am so over being the person he runs to for help and emotional support. There is nothing more tiresome or tedious that breaking your own heart over and over, knowing if you give in to desires, all you end up becoming is a willing Narcissistic Supply Source. I know now that it's his personality type but MY pattern, enabling abuse and allowing his pattern of using make up sex to remain in control. Each time I let him back into my life, the abuse seems to get worse and worse. The last time he tried was the first time in the history of our entire relationship that I finally stood my ground, set a healthy boundary, and told him I still love you but NO. No matter how much I want to be with him, I know now that for the best interest of our child I have to put the child's needs FIRST. Who wants a mommy who tolerates abuse and ultimately acts like a Flying Monkey for such a JERK?
Toxic Grandparents with Entitlement Beliefs Should Not Be Entitled to Visitation with Anyone’s Child
United States
Thank you SO MUCH for NOT supporting so-called GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS. In a perfect world, we'd love to have our kids around my family... but they are horribly abusive to me and my wife! We simply feel the healthiest, best choice for OUR children and our own sanity is to remain low to no contact and keep narcissistic and callously abusive, self-entitled people absolutely away from and out of our lives. This is not to punish them. We have given both my abusive mother and enabling henchman father a million and one chances to behave in a more loving, civil, and respectful manner... but every time we give and inch, it seems like they always want to pack us like sardines in the back of a beater station wagon with no AC and drive around with us held hostage for miles.
Elderly Parent was an Abuser
United States
My whole family and I have been following your Facebook fan page for about a year. Our now elderly mother and deceased father both severely abused my siblings and I throughout our childhood and younger years. Thanks to you guys helping us understand things like DARK TRIAD parents promote sibling rivalry by triangulation, we've been able to finally start comparing notes about how we were all worked and manipulated into hating, fearing, and not trusting one another. Since dad died, we've made the collective decision to help our sister move mom out of my sister's home. She had been taking the brunt of the senior care abuse, ruining her own life and health in the process while trying to be a good sister and good daughter. Mom has never once appreciate a single thing she or anyone else has ever done for her, so we're using the #STRONGERTOGETHER philosophy to rally together and help our sister. After reading your articles about elderly people with Cluster B personality types, we've decided to pool resources and move our abusive mother to the right nursing home. Not only will they be trained to work with people who are verbally abusive who are starting to show signs of dementia, they will be more readily able to depersonalize escalating abuse now that we've ALL been forewarned!
NPD Wife Raised Oppositional Defiant Disorder Child
United States
I was married to a narcissist for 20 years until she has a very public affair and discarded me approximately 2 years ago. I have grown a lot over the past two years and feel much happier to be out of the relationship.  I clearly allowed myself to be abused by her for many, many years. Our oldest child, a boy, has always been a difficult child. She never permitted me to discipline him, and he was allowed to do basically anything he wanted to. Since she moved out, things have gotten better, but I still worry that he's a narcissist. He often picks on his brother and sister for no reason.  He is incredibly cruel to them and is even worse to his mom's boyfriend's children. He is incredibly argumentative and is just mean when we wants to be.  If his brother and sister don't react to his meanness, usually the problem blows over quickly. In many ways I see improvements, but in others, he has remained the same. He's about to turn 15, so I don't know if he's just a selfish teenager,  or if he's a narcissist. I don't back down from him, and demand that he respects his siblings.  He will usually back down when I intervene but claims I'm mean or pick on him. I am following your page advice and learning all I can about NPD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder now. Had I known this information when he was little, I would have handled things with both she and he very differently from the time that my son was just a toddler.    
International Affair
We live in Paris and have felt the effects of hate speech promotion by the United States. Thank you for sharing your take on current events stories. Social terrorism in the homes becomes international terrorism in our global neighborhoods. It's nice to know that not all Americans echo the sentiments of many of the people currently running for political offices. We have many Jewish, gay, and Islamic friends who have been directly impacted. We have as well, now living in fear that political banter has provoked unstable people to lash out against our country, yours, and many others with violence. It seems to be Cluster B people who do the most harm and incite mobbing on behalf of tyrants.
Never Too Late to Wake
United States
I am 90 years old and all these years my family and I never understood what was actually "wrong" with my sister. Now we know. I can tell my own children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren that not only does heart disease run in our family, Borderline Personality Disorder does as well. Thank you for lifting this burden. The more you learn to use the computer to do research, the more it all starts to make sense in retrospect. I think she might have inherited it from one of our great grandmothers after being verbally physically abused early on by our grandmother. My mother was not married when she got pregnant -- something very few people outside of our immediate family know. The ridiculing she had to endure growing up coupled with my grandparents always threatening to send her away for the slightest offence, in hindsight more than likely traumatized her. I used to think she was the problem. Now I finally am starting to realize we all were. I hope that in some small way sharing a comment here with your readers helps all of us learn to make our lack of empathy somehow up to her.  Sadly, she passed away years ago, but I hope this message somehow helps make up for all we failed to do as a family to show her love, care, or support. I am so grateful to my own son and daughter for suggesting that I read this page! Now I check Facebook for your new posts and shares every day.
Adult Child of a Toxic Parent
As a 40 year old woman I am finally seeing how abusive my mother was now and all the years of my life. I am recovering. It's painful and many people don't understand or don't believe my 80 year old mother is the way she is. But I just want to say thank you. Because your website and articles have helped me so much to understand what had happened and who this person really is. Thank you.
Narcissistic Abuse recovery SURVIVAL
United States
I just wanted to say that I've followed your page for quite some time & you post some very educational things. Without your page, I probably wouldn't have understood exactly what I was up against.
Best Narcissistic Recovery Page on the Internet
United States [California]
You [have] got the best, most informative, complete, and well-written site anywhere [that] I have ever seen written. You may have no idea what confirmation [of inner knowing] and proper wording [coupled with] incitefulness can do for the victims to let them know they are not insane[ or imagining things. I am Odysseus' nephew and I want to thank you a lot. Really... you're so good [at your job].  I cannot begin to tell your staff and writers how much reading your work daily and following your fan pages on social media day by day, week by week, and hour by hour truly helps!
Learning How to Safely Set and Enforce Healthy Boundaries
United States [Washington State]
Sometimes I cry when I read your articles. I'm not sure if they are tears of relief, exhaustion, or appreciation. But it feels almost good to be able to put names to these behaviors. Now, to gather the strength to drag myself to the police department.
Daily Ongoing Emotional Support and Academic Insight
United States
I absolutely love this page. Receiving therapy since 10/16. This community page reinforces daily my experiences, thoughts and feeling . This page daily reinforces all educational talk therapy that my therapist provides me weekly . This page has been almost a life saver to me. Thank you for being here for me , you have no idea the positive impact in my life . Warmly, I will heal.
White Collar Professional Waking Up
United States / France
I just want to say thank you for all of the excellent information that you continue to keep providing. I am a smart person, a professional, but never understood what I was going through myself until I started reading your articles. Thank you for the eye opener and continued updates. It's good to know that I am not alone. Now I have a better understanding of the craziness.