Welcome to Flying Monkeys Denied.
Welcome home Narcissistic Abuse targets, whistleblowers, and scapegoat victims. You have successfully found the official home page of the online social and emotional support group for “Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Flying Monkeys — Oh My!” (TM) on Facebook.
If you are reading here for the first time, welcome to Narcissistic Abuse RECOVERY. Whether you are seeking advice on how to deal with a toxic friend or family member, hostile workplace environment, or abuse recovery in general, this gender-neutral self-help website is DEVOTED to the rational, academic discussion of “Narcissistic Abuse”, “Cluster B” personality disorders, “C-PTSD”, how to go “Gray Rock”, “No Contact, and (of course) their “Flying Monkey” enablers.
If you find our page offensive because we share articles that are solely to promote victim health and comprehension, we want you to know… we could not possibly care any less. Take IT or leave it — this website is structured to assist individuals in desperate emotional times to self-educate about Narcissism, other Cluster B personality types related to co-morbid diagnoses, and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery in private on or off grid at their own discretion.
It is what it is… and we are not here to provide social and emotional support for Cluster B folks. Our goal is to educate — not to pander to fear mongering scare tactics or to pretend that people with personality disorders somehow should be assigned special status in life or treated as if they have supernatural powers.
Who are we and why do we host this website? We are the people folks typically refer to as the actual GOOD GUYS.
We’re not Narcissists, Sociopaths, or Flying Monkeys… we’re genetically actually Autistic High Functioning Empaths.
As Empaths and by core-nature kind-hearted individuals, we strive to share insightful commentary threaded together as a group here in such a way that reading one of our articles after a same style psychological and or emotional assault from a predator can help a victim or collateral damage target to understand that what happened was, (at the very least) by predictable neurological pattern.
Our articles are to help a victim recover their mind, sense of internal authority, as well as our social and emotional collective’s dignity. Slavery was made illegal but the people who groomed everyone to work for wage labor or subsistence were left at the mercy of societies most deplorable and ego injured of all Overseer types of individuals.
Most of our articles are written as point for point peer reviewed responses to same subject or similar theme letters inquiring about whether or not someone is in social or mortal coil danger. As such, we have painstakingly strived to ensure that the material we present is about pattern behaviors and responses… not targeting any one group or person for displaying socially inappropriate behavior or civically deplorable life choices.
What’s our history and background that gives us expertise?
Why do we share the good news that narcissistic abuse recovery is possible? Because all the members of our writing staff and social media care team have themselves been scapegoated, bullied, targeted, harassed pervasively, cyberbullied in an extreme manner, stalked, have experienced extreme trauma, or are the adult children of toxic family members.
When we receive a letter, a message, a post, a question during ministerial counseling, and or a social media inquiry about someone’s life and their problem peer group or problem person, whomever on our team has the most experience dealing head on directly with a similar trauma exposure takes lead while we strive to craft posts to help not only the person in crisis who reached out but all the other people who cannot who are in similar life spots.
Very few topics in psychology and or neurobiology related to things like the formulation of personality are our of our academic grasp or our personal and professional reach. We proffer intellectual companionship Introvert style — here is the data. We highly recommend you go home, curl up in your jammies, and read while self reflecting with a box of Kleenex tissue readily at hand for a while.
What reading FMD material provides is a breath of fresh air in your everyday Narcissist and Sociopath impacted life.
Here’s the deal… if you are wondering if you have been the victim of abuse and you are reading here… yup. Chances are someone with a Cluster B personality or a pack of Flying Monkeys really took a psychological and emotional bite out of you.
If you are a daily or weekly visitor, we greatly appreciate you helping us get the word out about #NarcissisticAbuse with your ongoing post shares and social media likes. Tape yourself reading our articles aloud — or just the passages you find most helpful to keep in your medical diary, abuse journal, and for your ancestry records.
Here’s the spoiler alert of what you will eventually figure out on your own if you are smart…
History shows that False Speech Purveyors and or Bullies are typically the root cause of nearly every social disfunction that has been encountered by human beings since the beginning of marked time in human history.
Know your folklore related to who’s who in the Zoo before letting anyone cause you to fear, to reject, or to ostracize another. A kind person misinformed and outraged can do just as much harm to the Preferred Scapegoat of an Abuser as a mob who has been told to do other people or someone harm when they are mobbing and want to.
History shows the power of false speech is readily weaponized and used to make a profit on medically and sociologically doing intentional harm by fraud and terror to society.
Don’t fall for the Narcissistic Abuse routine — manufacturing chaos and fear and triangulation of human affection and goodwill are a medically rooted psychological deep fake style social and emotional con.
By the time PT Barnum and his Circus Carnies figured out how to peddle things like fear to make money and borrowed time with their socially and financially hostaged Autistic performers, their human trafficking business profiteering any way possible took the world media services by storm and divided literally everybody.
Tis historically accurate — tis true — that the Myth Of The Black Beast was one of history’s still to this day ongoing pervasive society-damaging as well as personality destroying Smear Campaign and Poisoning The Well oriented “Racketeer Calculated” rumors.
You can spot a Narcissist or Flying Monkey by listening to how they talk about themselves in comparison to other “targeted for abuse, mistreatment, and neglect” kind of people.
Cluster B individuals weaponized textbooks, stole then laundered money, and have done tremendous psychological, social, medical, physical, and financial harm to literally everybody they encountered without regard to race, religion, national origin, or any of the other tools they manufactured in NLP to divide and conquer their socially harvested and oftentimes oblivious captives.
The Bureau of Indian Affairs did the rest of the damage lying to people about everything from who they were, where they came from, what they owned by valid legal contract, and what they were not lawfully entitled to lose if and when they were bullied into signing things like contracts to sell land or to give away access to finances to a person or group forcing them to — without bothering to mention to undereducated people that in order for a contract to be valid as a Social Compact the purveyor of the contract must have honorable intentions.
Side note re: THE SIDE SHOW —
A contract rooted in fraud is lawfully invalid. If the person pretends they are going to perform, tricks another into signing or into pledging and oath, then what they proffer is LOVE FRAUD.
A con.
Always remember…
Nothing more.
If you are an honorable person, you are likely to strive to speak true words as well as to live an honorable life.
Psychopaths and people on the Cluster B Spectrum are those most likely to lack honor and to despise people who by nature exude pro-social intent without needing to be forced to tell truths or to assist other humans.
Speaking of honorable intentions…
As such, for the sake of the highest and greatest good (ourselves included this time) we strive to be community-minded and socially responsible people…
- We keep trying to elevate spirits (our own as well as those of others).
- We persist in rampant do-gooding despite social ridicule from people who lack the emotional intelligence to understand why we are by necessity what those who love and or alternately fear us indefatigable.
This web page and related social care media project is owned and operated by Narcissistic Abuse victims who have made the conscious choice in life to refuse to enable… and by the grace of the Internet Gods we strive to maintain an ethical commitment to focus all our staff, volunteer, mod, and consulting attention on helping folks who have been abused, been victims of violent crime, and or who have suffered some form of trauma at the hands of Abusers and their Abuse Enablers.
Our page is for the victims of the 1 in 25 people who make everyone around them suffer and capitulate to their egocentric needs and irrational demands.
We have little to no patience for people who partner up knowingly with stronger abusers in order to self-promote then are dismayed when and if their relationship proves to be based on nothing more than love fraud, trauma bonding, or gaslighting issues.
People who are horizontal and circular thinkers find great wisdom presented in our staff and guest writers’ articles. Those who are vertical thinkers tend to become enraged when and if they actually bother to read any of our posts.
Why?
Because we prefer to tell human beings the factual, rational, and pragmatic truth. Fearing exposure of covert activities and loss of Narcissistic Supply, our articles tend to enrage active Abusers and their situational abuse Enablers.
What are Flying Monkeys?
What is the origin of the phrase “Flying Monkeys” and how is it related to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery?
Narcissistic Abuse SURVIVORS call Domestic Abuse and bullying Enablers Flying Monkeys for one very specific and helpful reason… because the phrase inspires memories of the winged monkeys in the original “Wizard of Oz” movie!
People aware of bullying and despise it in all its forms have referred to abuse enablers as Flying Monkeys for that very reason since 1939 when the film first appeared. [The book that predated it was and remains a gem that inspired it.]
There are three key things to know about what and who Flying Monkeys who enable Social Predators who are stronger than them to thrive in real life.
- Enablers are Flying Monkeys; some Enablers know they are assisting a Predator in mistreating prey while others do harm by parroting the crowd and steadfastly refusing to engage any form of social spine or a brain.
- Enablers act abusively towards everyone they came into contact with in an attempt to please a Malignant Narcissist; they are ultimately transactional and fear abandonment as well as feelings of weakness or lack of any form of social power.
- Technically speaking, Enablers are even more karmically liable than Overt Abusers themselves; many Abusers abuse without being able to control their outbursts for medical reasons… but an Enabler enabling acts as a Social Predator’s Flying Monkey because it benefits the Enabler somehow typically socially or emotionally in their own mind despite them typically being fully aware they are actively or passively supporting the Abuser.
Once you figure out their personality type matches the pattern, it’s almost impossible to view them or abusive people in a more serious way that looking at them like they are Hyenas in the Lion King Disney movie. What’s different about them from the pack animals who quite graphically seem to enjoy feeding off the misery of everybody?
Thumbs. Flying Monkeys have thumbs. Seriously. Their behaviors and word choices tend to be that dumb.
Symbols — like words — matter because they cause a neurochemical flush.
The term “Flying Monkeys” became symbolic in pop culture, representing the winged ape-like primates who actively do the bidding of a more powerful Wicked Witch or evil, controlling ruler.
Historically, heading into WWII and following WWI, the children and adults involved in the making of the Wizard Of Oz film have arguably done more pro-social in public as well as in private work to advance an understanding of the Witch as well as of her supporters than any other piece of modern film or literature.
Remember the chills you got the very first time you saw the Wicked Witch of the West melting? That’s what is known as a neurochemical flush. Whether happy or sad, your mind, heart, and body tend to develop a social memory of life changing tips as well as self reflective deep personal insight types of stuff.
Empaths tend to use the biological sensory mechanism for good — making for instance, people’s favorite home cooked meals to inspire a feeling of comfort tied to memory. Folks who seek to abuse the time and hospitality of others tend to like using symbols and word tricks to make they prey flush with emotions like fear, deep personal groomed shame, or embarrassment.
Predatory people tend to hunt Empaths socially together in packs; Alpha Predators are supported by Beta Predators while both groups are steadfastly enabled by a mix of witting and unwitting Flying Monkeys.
Narcy people tend to flock together in predatory packs, striving to impress their role models on their quest to make themselves feel powerful — something more than reality. The best is not good enough. If one is accepted as a peer of a Social Predator, one must be the best at being the worst — taking out or down anyone who is perceived as better.
The Alpha fears social abandonment and loss of civic and or physical power the most. The Beta tends to fear losing access to perks socially supporting the Alphas bring them as illusory signs that person has some special kind of clout or personal status.
Enablers strive to be legitimized, praised and be a valid social success. However, in truth they are nothing more than aspiring predators at best; all meet the social and emotional criteria of weak Covert Narcissists, noting that covert is the psychological term referring to men or women that our grandparents and great-grandparents probably referred to as people with “Passive-Aggressive” behavior.
Self Help Advocates seek to educate Narcissistic Abuse targets so they understand what happened to them while striving to teach red flags and warning signs a sheep in wolf’s clothing is around to anyone who an Abuser strives to recruit to their harem. If even one person clicked like on this webpage ever our team here succeeded in our Medical Ministry as well as in our ongoing mission.
We discuss Flying Monkeys quite seriously noting the truth is oftentimes stranger than fiction anytime someone has been targeted for abuse or neglect by a Cluster B person.
The term FM was adapted for use by self-help advocates to use due to the compelling imagery in the 1939 classic film. It featured actress Judy Garland (the mother of Hollywood icon Liza Minnelli) and has been heralded as one of the greatest films ever made since it first debuted long before the middle of the 20th century arrived.
It has since been used to describe those who have been conned by the Narcissist into doing their evil bidding.
The phrase “circus monkeys” tends to refer to a family of performing monkeys, high wire actors and flyers by nature and nurture as narcissistic peer group members who compete with one another and against all others while living life moment to moment thinking they are competing with anyone other than themselves when and if they exhibit pack mentality or behaviors.
How to spot the red flags and warning signs an emotional predator is in your midst.
Primarily, Flying Monkeys enable abuse by continuing to show social, financial, and emotional support for abusive personalities. In many cases, a Narcissist, Sociopath, Narcopath, or other domineering and toxic person will use them to relay hurtful, intimidating, or “trigger” messages to a victim. Here are just a few of their more common narcissistic abuse tactics:
- They are routinely recruited as spies for the evil-doers.
- Most love watching from the sidelines while other people are physically damaged or socially destroyed by the Narcissist’s abusive victimization tactics.
- All will readily proclaim, “There are two sides to every story!” as their excuse while fundamentally ignoring the dominant figure being the source of chaos, harm, and social dysfunction.
- If there is a pitchfork or a torch around, all enjoy the act of mobbing (or bullying scapegoated targets who are outnumbered or powerless).
- No group is quicker to overlook red flags and warning signs a target is being abused or that a perpetrator has a bonafide Cluster B personality disorder;
People who bait, covertly manipulate, manufacture chaos, and triangulate all can and should be considered Narcissistic Abuse perpetrators.
While they may seem like nice people on the surface, when left to their own devices they actively and passive-aggressively pretend not to notice when overlooking things like bullying, targeting, scapegoating, drug or alcohol abuse, problem drinkers, perverts who use and abuse others, and domestic violence.
They themselves participate in mobbing, and they seem to love standing on the sidelines watching bullying. They are the classic schoolyard loser kids who stand and encircle a scapegoat child so that a bigger bully can pummel or humiliate a weaker or more helpless (and most likely) terrified little kid.
Flying Monkeys enjoy mobbing.
Flying Monkeys (above all else) are predictably shallow, self-interested, predators with a pack mentality. They thrive on creating, manufacturing, or vicariously enjoying witnessing other people’s pain and suffering as follows:
“The more Narcissistic Supply recruits their ring leader has, the more they tend to engage in the act of Mobbing while going on social and emotional pitchfork and torch style attacks.” — @NSFM_OhMy
Historical personality traits of Enablers include (but are not limited to) the following attributes:
- They are all frightened of her but for some ungodly reason are still willing to do her toxic family bidding.
- Behind her back, all of them [babbling baboons, included] openly report gossip about her to anyone who will listen.
- Then, they run straight back to their ringleader to bad mouth the person they were just trash-talking with about how much they despise their evil, ugly, controlling, shallow, and petty dim-witted boss.
“It is truly disconcerting the backstabbing and infighting amongst narcissistic peer groups. All anyone knows is despite how much they truly do hate her, as long as she still has her broomstick in hand, ready to fly, they are her devoted lackeys and servants — slaves of their own free will choice to enable social predation, serving at the pleasure of her sadistic spite for their perception of social advantage and person gain derived from socially supporting her caustic, emotionally caustic, and destructive aims.” — @NSFM_OhMy
What does Cluster B mean?
Cluster B personality disorders have been described since long before the creation of any Old Testament, Koran, or New Testament Bible version.
While ancient cultures painted pictures of wicked creatures with fantastically terrifying forms and figures, more modern civilizations told stories about people who, for whatever reason, acted monstrously to friends, family, societies, and or neighbors.
People who have been involved in the Domestic Violence underground railroad movement (of sorts) have plenty of proof that slow activism helping to re-educate dysfunctional families [with faith, perseverance, and tenacious introspective analysis] can and does actually work.
“Such caustic or toxic personalities may, during life, have exuded a sense of domination, victory, or artificially inflated prestige. Most meet with an untimely demise or find themselves without the care or companionship of loving people in their later years (the years beyond which senior citizen’s can hold community power or enjoy the benefits of youthful physicality).” — @NSFM_OhMy
Such caustic or “toxic” personalities may, during life, have exuded a sense of domination, victory, or artificially inflated prestige. Most meet with an untimely demise or find themselves without the care or companionship of loving people in their later years (the years beyond which senior citizens can hold community power or enjoy the benefits of youthful physicality).
Learning how to parent your inner child can help speed up the healing process.
Learning how to re-parent your own inner child and take responsibility for how much you let other people control you can help speed up Narcissistic Abuse Recovery.
The moment you feel your buttons being pushed, know that chances are you are either reacting to a negative situation properly (by being upset and angered justifiably by a person who knowingly is trying to bait, control, or otherwise manipulate you) OR that you yourself have uncovered a new personal trigger.
Either way, simply the act of recognizing the hot button can be helpful. The more predatory by nature people as well as their prey learn to control neurochemical response behaviors related to Fight or Flight neural mechanisms the faster 100% of humanity is likely to start to feel… for lack of a better term… something akin to psychosocially healthier.
Learn how to observe emotions in waves; learning to surf neurochemical flush without allowing yourself to be overtaken with emotions like fear, anxiety, or PTSD can mean the difference between whether you float, sink, or swim.
“Feel the feels…” as NLP Programmer and Spartan Life Coach Richard Grannon so eloquently suggests… then do whatever is necessary to depersonalize the personal attack (in the Zen-like sense).
Try to observe your emotional process while it happens, feeling emotions like grief and anger without feeling the need to self-criticize like your abuser and his or her Flying Monkeys all seem to suggest.
Trust yourself and your own personal gut more than us. But let us first disclose this…
You are indeed accurate if you find your Abuser or a problematic person’s behavior suspicious.
If they are indeed overtly or covertly a Cluster B person [which one in every twenty people or more by the year 2020 actually physically medically on a brain scan statistically are likely to be], then the only reason they want you thinking that you are overly critical of their toxic behavior patterns is to make you doubt that you are worthy of being treated with respect so they can excel at abusing your personal time and hospitality without social consequence.
They are indeed pulling a social scam. You are the target of Hospitality Abuse 100% of the time if and when you are interacting in any way with a narcissist or with any form of communication material they have created if and when you seek to socially enmesh with one or to emotionally entertain them.
Narcissistic people actively seek to con friends into thinking you are emotionally unstable while gaslighting and conning you socially into believing they actually care about you.
TO overcome grooming by a toxic person or peer group, remember the following list of fast tips and tricks that can help you craft an easier interior emotional if not social experience for you.
- Be who YOU needed as a role model when you were younger.
Seriously. One of the most helpful life changing tips we have as a team ever received or personally given is to enthusiastically learn how to parent your own inner child while mastering adulting with the big people.
- Engage routinely in radical acts of self-care when and if you are functionally able. Self Care is a necessity — not something that is selfish.
- Always remember to PAY IT FORWARD. Break the silence about Narcissistic Abuse issues to end the epidemic of victim shaming.
- Play the role of a mentor when and if you have expertise in a particular domestic violence or workplace bullying area. But don’t martyr yourself for the sake of others.
- Be brave. Ask for help, emotional support, or mental health counseling anytime you need. Never underestimate the value of talking to a helpful, wise, or supportive stranger or understanding friend whenever you feel like your soul might be in need.
Learn how to spot pattern behavior that leads to launching or sustaining the Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse; doing so can seriously save you time, health, typically money, and relationships.
Understand if you were targeted for abuse by a Narcissist, Sociopath, Psychopath, Dark Triad, Narcopath, BPD person, or simply were the victim of someone else’s bad mood that the person or peers felt so threatened by you that they took time out of their busy day to let you know that they feel inadequate socially or physically compared to you.
Narcissistic people are the ultimate con artists. All pathologically lie about themselves, to one another in a narcissistic peer group, to their own romantic partners, children, the authorities, and other family members.
It’s part of the cycle of Narcissistic abuse, the desire to love bomb followed by a private devalue. Relying on you to keep the secret you are being abused is their habit. They trust you to protect their image out of loyalty while they know the truth is, most victims keep the abuse and domestic violence they suffer privately from a sense of fear.
Break the silence before C-PTSD starts to negatively affect you.
Victim and Enabler silence is an abusive person’s most effective weapon. As such, one of the most important things to keep in mind if you find yourself being abused is to remember staying quiet seldom helps you.
Keep in mind that your silence or passive complacency tolerating or overlooking narcissistic abuse truly is the abusive person’s most effective and potentially lethal way of harming you. It is their goal to psychologically and emotionally vex the people they target for pervasive abuse.
If you are being abused, cyberbullied, stalked, or harassed, understand that it’s crucial not to minimize the abuse’s effects; Narcissistic Abuse is physically debilitating as well as financially limiting.
After all… who can be expected to succeed personally or professionally in career or lifestyle goals when people are constantly trying to sabotage or thwart their progress?
Divorces and having to move away to flee from Social Predators is expensive — costly not only to finances and family estates but to health.
Not only is enduring abuse physically taxing due to the overwhelming emotional distress, but it’s also psychologically debilitating to endure. Expect PTSD flashbacks to compound the more time you and your loved ones or co-workers are exposed to any form of social or physical trauma.
C-PTSD forms in victims of ongoing terror, poverty, or neglect as well as in those who are bullied pervasively.
Victims of pervasive stalking, social isolation, ongoing harassment, bullying, shaming, mobbing, and other gross forms of Narcissistic abuse develop a condition known as C-PTSD over time. It’s a medical condition worth looking up that appears as predictably during and after repeated or ongoing unresolved trauma exposure.
Why?
Because targets, scapegoats, and victims that have been repeatedly betrayed, abandoned in their hour of need, or painfully targeted for abuse almost religiously by sadistic, “Situational Abusers” simply tend to collapse from nothing but pure physical, psychological, and emotional fatigue over time.
C-PTSD is a conditioned and complex form of PTSD, with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder flashbacks coupled with a victim doubting their own goodwill or sanity.
When you suspect something to be true in your gut or see something with your own eyes, then another human being tells you that you must have misunderstood or imagined it, after a while abuse targets tend to simply give up on believing that their own subjective experiences were things they perceived as factually right.
Abuse victims are typically told daily that they are overly sensitive, crazy, and that they have “wild imaginations” when they accurately describe their own personal subjective emotions and or their experiences interacting with Social Predators.
As a direct result of having their morals as well as their sanity questioned so often, the target of Narcissistic Abuse by something called “Gaslighting” tend to develop a desire for an outside authority source to validate their wholly subjective and quite personal life experiences. Overseers in slave cultures use the same method of grooming Stockholm Syndrome into their victims.
Realizing you have been targeted for psychological, social, spiritual, financial, and emotional abuse is quite an ah-ha moment for anyone destined to overcome biological GOOP.
All legal and moral accountability for causing pain or harm to their targets and collateral damage victims is overtly denied by perpetrators who then fetishize watching their trauma victims socially and spiritually agonize. It all starts with one person telling another PS I am BEST or somehow intrinsically better than you or I as a person regardless of what “you”, “I”, or that together we can do.
Narcy people like to lie to see who will believe their untruths; when you hurt or are confused they actually enjoy the pain and medical damage they are inflicting on you.
After being told that things you witness with your own eyes or moral crimes you have physical proof of are all in the victim’s imagination, smear campaigns are typically publicly as well as professionally enacted. The most egregious Hospitality Abusers are socially nicknamed or described a “Winner” or “The Greatest” while whomever they neglect or do direct harm to is mocked, shamed, derided, and ridiculed by Social Predatory types for being a “Loser”.
It does not matter if social competition is on a battlefield, on a playing field, in a classroom, romantically, at work, or in the nuclear family unit at home; the more narcy the person and or Cluster B in general, the more likely problem personality types are likely to start terrible fights between folks they triangulate for sport and to make their targets feel incredibly low. The problem person — typically hoping to make themselves the center of attention in everyone else’s world 100% of the time — really spends the bulk of their life destroying other people’s time in bodies.
Expect an Abuser to lie, sneak, cheat, and to triangulate the social and emotional affection of others in order to make themselves feel somehow important.
The serial cheater’s wife, for instance, or a child abuse victim will be profiled as an emotionally unstable, hostile, and irrational, psychologically deficient, and mean-spirited aggressor. The actual Social Predator will them typically profoundly gaslight and strive to charm everyone who does not know the fact-based, actual truth about the Abuser, their victims, and or about whatever chaos they manufacture then feign shock and fake innocence.
Gaslighting other people in order to net gain themselves social perks and support they do not deserve is the Abuser’s hallmark. Always playing the victim in chaos they themselves manufacture, the air seems to such out of the room every time someone like them happens to phone, to text, to email, or to walk in it.
The more controlling the person, the more likely they are to fear abandonment; as such, many Narcissistic individuals are desperate for attention.
The husband of a woman who has control issues might be stalked and hunted by her every day while she hawks his every move, but the more dutifully he strives to check-in and account for his whereabouts, the more likely she is to become verbally or physically abusive if he fails to meet her constant attention-seeking demands.
Her number one goal as an attention-demanding Narcissist is to be considered the sole person in life who deserves his attention. That means in order to please her, not only must he forsake all other human beings romantically and socially, but he’s expected to forsake his own self-care needs as well as prioritize her irrational needs for attention over things like his own personal safety, medical health, comfort, or career.
A child of helicopter parents might be the best, most loving, and hardworking young adult or high school student on the planet, but the parents are likely to try to micromanage every minute of the child’s time while deriding them in private for failing to measure up to the family standard for academic achievement or social standards.
Once C-PTSD issues set in, it can take a lifetime — even completely free from contact with an original Abuser — for a victim’s physiology to heal and their mind to recover.
It is the same physical and psychological condition healthy and normal people develop after being kidnapped, tortured, incarcerated in a dangerous or high-stress environment, going to war, or have (in some way) been repeatedly traumatized.
While Abusers stay busy conning everyone who will listen to their smear campaigning that you are mentally unstable, a pathological liar yourself, or something far worse, the average target or scapegoat only knows that they are starting to feel worse.
Narcissistic Abuse victims who suffer from bad cases of C-PTSD tend to experience things like extreme social anxiety, agoraphobia, and to constantly suffer from “Sourceless Anxiety”.
The cognitive dissonance of living with a person who clearly has a personality disorder tends to be immense.
Lured in by love bombing, enmeshed by trauma bonding, and held captive by the belief that staying involved with a family member or romantic partner who abuses is the morally correct and socially appropriate thing to do, the victim will tend to report all the glowing characteristics of their Abuser(s) while minimizing the effects of the very real social and physical harms that they do.
Victims staying silent about things like workplace bullying, domestic violence, and sexual abuse only allows them the freedom to act like situational abusers then sabotage your reputation with regard to your mental health status while making an ongoing covert argument behind your back about why you failed to report their behavior to the authorities, family member, co-workers, and personal friends.
Every day you willingly decide to keep their deepest, darkest secrets hidden while you protect both themselves and you from having your names in the local gossip pipeline is one more 24 hour period they have to scapegoat you and tarnish your public, social and psychological reputation.
You are always walking on eggshells and it’s always a dance. Once your ego and will to live without their affection or social approval is completely repressed or extinguished, that’s when Enablers hit rock bottom while we “make” Alpha social predators the same way the Mob makes their own version of Wise Guys.
Expect Narcissistic people to deny having abused you.
More so, though, preparing to steady yourself for an onslaught of smear campaigning, them patently lying without remorse to every person willing to lend them an ear or shoulder to cry on while they flat out make up stories to embarrass, isolate, then to pervasively strive to socially, financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and psychologically destroy you.
This is all par for the Narcissist’s playbook course, the Machiavellian, socially competitive agenda coupled with a hellish drive to demand a “loser” in every social situation.
Sadly, how hard a kind person strives to please a socially competitive thinker, all are essentially doomed to failure.
The ONLY — and we do mean ONLY — thing a Cluster B person loves more than positive attention is negative.
Understanding this fact and keeping it in mind, that the core values of a socially toxic and aggressive person or peer group are NOT the same as other humans, can truly be the ah-ha realization that helps save YOU from agonizing further about, over, or in any crisis situation.
Once a person realizes that narcissistic people are VERTICAL thinkers, it’s easy to see why they are so difficult to work with and socially harmful.
Vertical thinkers are just that. In order for a trickle-down social-economic theory to work, a system placing them at the top while leaving everyone else’s fundamental human rights they step on in the dirt, they crown themselves the great Leviathan kinds and queens of the universe.
Life enmeshed with toxic thinkers inevitably ends up becoming just as philosopher and writer Thomas Hobbes once said. Namely, feeling NASTY, POOR quality, BRUTISH, and SHORT.
Refusing to overlook or enable Narcissistic Abuse does not make a person disrespectful, selfish, or rude. It makes you medically astute as well as morally in tune with what is and what is not ethically appropriate social interactions and relationships.
Remaining enmeshed with toxic thinkers is the spiritual and moral equivalent of committing passive suicide.
Death by a thousand paper cuts does not make one a moral person, showing respect for themselves, one or many Gods or spirits, or other people. It makes you feel as if you are about to go crazy.
But you are not.
Are you a confused mess in biological stress due to being exposed to gaslighting and an overwhelming amount of toxic NLP?
Yes.
But cray-cray from duress is not the same thing as being functionally a psychologically unstable person who is incapable of telling the truth from reality when people around them are being HONEST.
While Cluster B people tend to act like Pack Predators or Jane Goodall’s primates, Empaths tend to emulate ants.
All Cluster B people suffer from the belief the world and everyone around them in it is obsessed with social competition. They have no idea the rest of the humans have evolved biologically into collaborative people.
You see, all Cluster B people and the vertical thinkers who are prone to enabling them are the only people who are technically insane. As in morally insane — not lawfully of incapable of caring for themselves, but unable to be trusted to behave pro-socially towards others.
We build and assist one another. The social competitor functionally can’t.
Name-calling their victims and ridiculing people for expressing complex emotion is the most obvious poker tell of someone with a personality disorder.
Cluster B people and their Enablers act as if they can hardly wait to name-call their victims or people who have been traumatized by their deplorable social malfeasance “lunatic” for thinking somehow the subjective opinions of moral criminals prone to pathologically lying, torturing other people socially or emotionally, or harming others in the interest of self-promotion for personal profit or gain is somehow looked upon favorably in this lifetime or any spiritual form of an afterlife by systems thinkers co-creating in any way.
Was that a long sentence — probably grammatically incorrect?
Probably… but understand this — people who are neurotypical seek to read and to listen with the intent to understand others. Those who are HSP (meaning Highly Sensitive Personalities) are likely to have high IQ and even higher EQ… the pesky intuition and ability to process complex emotions in a healthy manner the way people with personality disorders simply can’t.
Thinking style by core nature matters; a person who is Cluster B is likely to be a socially ruthless, unrepentant Vertical Thinker who prides themselves on how much they have harmed or perceive themselves better or somehow intrinsically greater than others.
Horizontal thinkers — namely Empaths (meaning people with high levels of giftedness and emotional depth, and biologically HSP folks with the capacity for deep levels of introspection) — are those most likely to be codenamed PEOPLE PLEASERS. Only co-dependent on others in order to do what kind-by-nature folks must do to self-actualize — namely, needing other human beings as mirrors by which an interactive person strives to be helpful and pleasing when and if we are socializing — the wider the concentric circles a Horizontal thinker can process the more likely they are to lead an intellectual, social, and emotional life that is inspiring (if not inspired).
Horizontal thinkers tend to see the wider picture and are not socially competitive with peers. Rather, they are team players who understand the value of rowing together to get ahead without feeling the need to strive to physically dominate or to top down peers or others in the metaphoric general.
Vertical Thinkers are only impressed by people who they look up to that they secretly want to take down. And, of course, they always spend most of their time looking down their nose at people far more than they actually look around.
People Pleasers, unlike co-narcissist co-dependents or masochists, tend to perpetually seek to create win-win social situations for themselves and all the people they encounter in life.
If someone in a group is struggling, a person with a horizontal mindset will likely intuitively realize that if they are willing to assist the person having difficulties that not only will their actions assist the person in need but it will benefit the group — therefore, thinking in a wider circumference, assisting of others becomes an act of self service as it betters our emotional well being and social environment.
But being the good guy or the hero to folks in need has its drawbacks. Namely, kind people tend to end up feeling in life as if they have a sign taped to their back or on their forehead they cannot see that says something like “Loser — Please Come Bully Me”.
In a toxic family unit, children of Dark Triad parents who net gain the recessive EMPATHY GENE are the most likely folks to be targeted for use and abuse as scapegoats. The more socially competitive the parents are and likely to be on the Cluster B Spectrum, the more likely they are to both bully and to shame their most emotionally sensitive and caring children while grooming less empathic siblings and family members to join in bullying and tormenting their Preferred Scapegoat, too.
That’s where nice little kids get tripped up… conned by Toxic Parents, abusive siblings, and bullies in the classroom. Folks with abusive personality types tend to lie without remorse to get what they want when they want it.
An Empath can be easily vexed and thwarted by a toxic thinker — why?
The earlier in life problematic children figure out they can lie and hurt others or get away with conning, the more likely the Social Predators are to engage in ruthless acts to deceive and connive.
Fiercely competitive for things that they want (such as parental or romantic attention), Cluster B people target those who are kind, emotionally intelligent, and popular for abuse while striving to ensure that not only does the narcissistic person win they make sure to humiliate anyone they feel is beneath them or a social threat to them getting 100% of goods, resources, or attention.
If an Empath is able to successfully create or come up with a WIN-WIN solution to any social issue or scenario, nothing is more offensive to a toxic thinker or abusive Narcissist.
Because Empaths are typically drawn to Psychopaths, Sociopaths, and Dark Triads due to our own exposure to them as totally helpless and psychically dependent infants, we tend to A) draw them to us like moths to the light and B) to be easily psychologically or emotionally manipulated into following NLP programming scripts used by our family to brainwash us into tolerating neglect or willingly and without complaint taking abuse like an emotionally starved, naïve and trusting young child.
Come out of the cave and step into the light.
Once an Empath or emotionally sensitive person has the truth revealed, everything that happens in life after that tends to illuminate in the perfect reveal.
By learning all you can about the red flags and warning signs a Cluster B predator or a toxic thinker prone to behaving like a Flying Monkey is in your midst or public eye, one can learn how to depersonalize their cleverly constructed, emotionally and verbally abusive words.
Like watching a magic trick that USED to fascinate you… once you learn more about how to identify things like Ad Hominem attacks, Love Fraud, Love Bombing, Mirroring, Hoovering, Appeal To Emotion, Trauma Bonding, and Gaslighting, all of a sudden even the most covert personalities among them start setting your newly discovered spider-senses alight.
If you are new to reading self-help literature — welcome.
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We hope you will find you’ve saved yourself a ton of heartache, anguish, and wasted time by reading our website “cover to cover” thoroughly. Please do check out our list of favorite Narcissistic Abuse recovery videos saved and sorted by comfort theme lists by clicking the button on the upper right-hand side of our website, follow us on Facebook at facebook.com/flyingmonkeysdenied.
Then, sit back, relax, and don’t forget to enjoy the ride.
We’re baking cookies, sipping our lattes (made with soy milk and whipped cream — despite the seeming dichotomy, of course), and will be right here waiting for you once you return.
Contrary to what most of us drawn to reading literature about abuse issues tend to fear, on the other EVENT HORIZON side there are no rugs being pulled continually out from under our feet. There’s also no sign of an oncoming TRAIN anywhere.
We’re awake, we’re clearing the sleep from our eyes, and we’re NOT “paying” attention.
What all humans have the gift of doing is being able to work together like ants, but show one another love, affection, and unwavering psychological and emotional support. Hurt people do not HURT people.
Hurt people who are not socially or emotionally competitive with anyone but themselves strive to heal.
And once we do, we pay forward the deal.
As always,
PLAYING IN TRAFFIC
Anonymous Jones et aI for the writers and staff of Flying Monkeys Denied
Thanks for reading, sharing, and for validating.
PLEASE NOTE: While we do not condone GENDER BASHING, please note that many of the articles presented may choose one gender-specific pronoun for simplicity of presentation. If and when a pronoun is being used to point out a characteristic of any person who happens to have a personality disorder, our writers and contributors strive to make it known that the example will seldom be useful when cross-applying to the opposite gender variation standard by norm. Want to know more about the everyday process of learning how to go “Gray Rock” or “No Contact” with abusive people or Narcissistic emotional vampires and predators? Sign up today for email notification about new blog posts and register to receive news feed updates on your favorite social media websites like Instagram or Facebook.
