The most common question we have asked in our forums is how to go Gray Rock. Gray Rock is a technique that allows a person who is frustrated dealing with a toxic friend, spouse, coworker, stranger, client, or family member to successfully deal with the inevitable stress interacting with such individuals is inevitably likely to produce.
As a psychological discipline, the symbology alone can be a lifesaver, allowing the “observer” or acted-upon agent to learn how to observe the process without rushing in haste to action, activity, response, or judgment.
There are millions of meditation experts happy to tell you that focusing on the NOW moment is one of the best ways to seek mental clarity during times of stress. If something already happened, technically speaking it’s in the past. If something has not happened yet, then worry is a waste of time energizing what is or is not going to happen in the future.
To a normal person dealing with everyday survival issues, adopting a NOW moment perspective can be incredibly helpful. Not only can a person focus on the tasks at hand by invoking the Serenity Prayer, praying to be able to have the strength to change what must be changed, to do whatever task arises, and to have the wisdom to know what’s in one’s own purview to change, but one can lighten the metaphoric load off one’s shoulders.
Are household tasks incomplete? Celebrate what is finished and understand tomorrow is another day to do better. Dinner burned? Order a pizza guilt-free — or run to the local grocery store to pick up Fried Chicken.
Yadda yadda.
To an abuse victim — especially an extreme abuse victim who has spent a lifetime being shamed, blamed, and invalidated — being told to let things go unresolved or to live in the NOW moment without emotional security is the metaphoric equivalent of a psycho-social death sentence.
The number one killer of domestic abuse victims especially is UNRESOLVED GRIEF.
Learning how to survive in a world that is more dangerous at home than with strangers on the streets causes incredibly complex levels of toxic shame, guilt over enduring abuse while knowingly enabling abusers, and incredible amounts of what most medical physicians who are clueless about C-PTSD development will tell you is something called “Sourceless Anxiety”.
Typically misdiagnosed socially as co-dependent masochism, PEOPLE PLEASER syndrome is a direct result of an emotionally gifted person being raised in a seriously toxic and abusive family. A child raised in an environment from birth where the moods of adult caregivers and other residential siblings, step-siblings, or housemates are unstable and violent tends to develop a unique X-Men like skill set.
Learning how to avoid extreme physical abuse or neglect, an infant who is socially aware they are dependent on others to have their physical safety guaranteed and needs to be met is likely to develop great powers of observation.
Oddly enough, it’s the skill that lets a People Pleaser land themselves in the most unhealthy and brutally abusive of social situations when and if they never escape the domestic confines of their family member and toxic peer group captors.
It’s also the same strength an abuse victim can use to go Gray Rock and save themselves from spending a lifetime in hell, constantly enduring and reacting compassionately to the most socially destructive of all personality types.
Here’s the deal.
If you have the ability to be a People Pleaser — knowing innately what another person feels and needs to have or do in order to help calm their interior world or to gain true personal success — then you have the RIGHT to use that high-level emotional skill to protect, defend, and help YOU.
Most people-pleasing personalities are taught from experience from the earliest years of infancy and toddlerhood that their needs come LAST behind everyone else’s.
If their parent or parents are Cluster B and the child is both intellectually gifted and has a high capacity to feel the emotion empathy, a superhero version of a superhuman personality type known as an EMPATH is created.
If someone is of average IQ and emotional capacity, a people-pleasing personality is likely to form. However, in such a case, individuals tend to take on more co-dependent traits of a co-narcissist. This is not 100% bad, as oftentimes “blending in” to a toxic peer group (such as a religious community) or taking on the traits of an aggressor to mirror being just like them in order to avoid their direct attacks can truly save a person’s life who on their own needs a bit of extra academic and social dialog to work through personal issues that develop in their own personality for physically and socially protective reasons.
But an Empath perspective takes on no such defenses, leaving them oddly enough even more vulnerable to harsh social and oftentimes physical persecution by toxic family members, community bullies, and deranged, abusive Cluster B parents. Risking consistently doing the right thing at the right time for the right reason at personal expense (rather than for personal gain and social profit), family black sheep are the rebellious and kind social champions of moral virtue and the quest for justice.
While a mid-range abuse victim might learn how to manipulate mommy or daddy into giving them what they want in life with regard to attention, money, food, personal material goods, or lifestyle freedoms, an extreme abuse victim tends to lean towards extreme behavior themselves. A mild to moderate abuse victim might learn showing empathy to their own children and certain members of their preferred community will net them social praise and accolades, but that in exchange they must take on narcissistic traits of their family of origin or local religious group to “fit in” and gain personal benefit.
Such people may exhibit the capacity to feel empathy but willingly of free-will choice decide it is to their direct social advantage to engage in social acts of bullying, mobbing, and actively and aggressively socially tormenting human targets. For some, this may mean attacking that one emotionally sensitive family member by making cruel jokes and cutting remarks to them both to their face and talking disrespectfully about them behind their back.
For others, it might mean signing the Target boycott that pinpoints gays, lesbians, transgenders, parents of children of the opposite gender who need to accompany a child to potty, special needs workers who can and should supervise a patient or ward’s bathroom break, and senior care workers of a different sex than the person they care for.
It also spotlights any person who has three-strand DNA or a hermaphrodite biological condition for social, physical, and emotional abuse then actively BRAGGING ABOUT IT in a truly immoral and ultimately classless, entitlement-thinking based, totally non-empathetic or thoughtful narcopathic fashion.
People who are in this range of claiming they are abuse victims at home but actively strive to abuse others pridefully are NOT candidates in any remote way, shape, or form for utilizing the GRAY ROCK technique to heal from abuse, nor will they ever be people who will be capable of healing from Narcissistic Abuse… so if you are in that class of Flying Monkey predators, stop reading this article right now and head off to cyber troll on social media or boycott gay marriage issues.
The gray rock technique is one that can only be fully understood and embraced by a person or group who has an innate understanding that life is NOT A COMPETITION. In order to “win”, there simply cannot be ANY losers.
A person who complains constantly of being victimized and bullied in their own home then prides themselves about their entitlement rights to go to heaven and bullies people they perceive as lessers are not VICTIMS. What they are is entitlement-based thinkers who have learned to emulate (albeit poorly) the social traits and habits of Cluster B predators. As selfish, egocentric, short-sighted, and tunnel vision thinkers, the concept of GRAY ROCK will be intellectually and emotionally beyond comprehension.
That’s why the concept is very hard to explain to so many “victims” — because the victims themselves have willingly set themselves as part of a food chain. As weak Narcissists with socially conditioned anti-social personality traits, unless they absolutely are willing to give up their achieved social position and power and STOP ABUSING OTHER PEOPLE, they are never functionally able to stop playing the self-promoting and self-aggrandizing game.
Empaths who have spent a lifetime asleep, never realizing life could be another way, wake up. Empaths refuse to abuse others because quite simply they have an intuitive as well as an empathetic sense of why brutalizing other human beings, animals, or the natural environment produces no long-term positive consequences.
In order to go gray rock by intellectual and emotional habit, one must first be willing to set aside selfish ego needs and desires. Then, one must be intellectually and emotionally both capable and willing to really relentlessly and sometimes even ruthlessly use logic to think through the cause and effect of any and all social actions, attitudes, and behavior long term.
People who are egocentric by nature don’t have the interior skill set or intestinal fortitude to do the right thing for the right reason without regard to personal gain, nor are they willing intellectually to employ rigorous logic to analyze their personal behavior as well as their preferred peer or family units social aims. To say so might infuriate them… and if you are one of the people who is angry reading this post, chances are it’s you who might be the Covert sort of narcissistic predator who is unlikely to ever have a happy home life based on your attachment to the entitlement thinking game.
An Empath waking up to the reality that taking abuse from other people is both stupid socially and unnecessary morally can truly benefit from Narcissistic Abuse recovery counseling and reading academic material about how to heal. A weak or mild Covert Narcissist who pledges allegiance to toxic religious values or a narcissistic peer group is likely to miss the point entirely.
To go GRAY ROCK, visualize the long game.
Lao Tzu once wrote, “Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” This step of recognition of kindness is the first true logical step going gray rock.
When one assumes the proverbial position of choosing the path of kindness in all words, deeds, and actions, people who are fundamentally unkind as well as selfish and uncaring about other people by nature tend to balk.
Those who were socially conditioned to act like narcissists but really never were at the core have a much better chance at soul retrieval — while people who never took on the narcy traits of their domestic abusers are likely to simply read these next few powerful statements of validation and be intellectually and spiritually reborn.
For most abuse victims, learning how to be a victim begins at home. Living under the oppressive rule of iron-fisted and ham-fisted people with Cluster B personality traits (if not full-blown disorders) taught humans from birth through the years of age four that things like crying or asking for your needs to be met were dangerous — not normal.
Children who grow up watching parents cruelly socially manipulate and abuse one another tend to learn not only how to manipulate in the passive-aggressive or histrionic sense, but that by acting in a particular way they can change the flow or course of history simply by asserting themselves into a social event.
It is the interjection of a person striving to dominate, alter, or change a social dynamic by “strategizing” for personal gain that is the OPPOSITE of going gray. That’s why people who are reading self-help material desperately wondering how to better or more effectively socially and emotionally control or manipulate a loved one or social target for personal gain are destined to fail epically with regard to even comprehending what turning to stone in essence emotionally REALLY means.
Turning to stone emotionally — to an EMPATH — means being emotionally neutral, stable, and above all else constant. It means taking on the qualities of a stone on the shore of a river, letting events and emotions pass by effortlessly with grace and ease at their own uncontrolled but simply observed and subsequently reflected upon pace.
To an egocentric thinker, no concept could be more infuriating than the ideas that in order to heal from Narcissistic Abuse that they have to literally stop engaging with abusive people entirely, that they must learn to be an island unto themselves for social and emotional support, and that they simply cannot engage in social acts using or abusing others if they expect to benefit in this lifetime or any other.
The enormous frustration of a person who thinks in a socially and emotionally competitive fashion is great, but it’s a nightmare lifestyle for those who follow in their toxic role models’ intellectual and emotionally self-indulgent footsteps.
Think about it. Children of toxic parents all tend to learn the phrase “shit rolls downhill” for a reason. The reason is their parents had a bad day at work so they came home and aggressed the kids, not knowing how to vent their frustrations or manage stress in pro-social and positive ways. Then, the older sibling picks on the younger — who cries… they kick the dog or pulls the cat’s tail when no one is looking — just because, offering an adult who spies them doing it a flat denial of having engaged in such a foolish activity morally, compounding it by lying, blame-shifting, denying, gaslighting (whatever it takes to ensure they are not held accountable for the bullying of a lesser).
The church pastor who berates gay people or those of a different religious persuasion from the pulpit is NO DIFFERENT. The mosque leader advocating jihad is the same.
In order to go gray rock, one must think back generationally to cause as well as imagine by natural logical extension what any act or action (or conversely lack of action) will do further down the cosmic life path river. Every flow has a point of origin, and perpetual motion was set into play most likely the first time a human felt compelled to “do” rather than simply enjoy BEING.
Using the Garden of Eden example, if man and woman were truly made in the likeness of God and set into a divine ecosystem where the needs of every creature great and small were mutually dependent in order to have their unique and particular needs met, it was the first person to believe that they had to DO anything other than what came naturally to them that set social devolution (or the concept of sin related to the fall) in motion.
Since that time, any person who behaves as if they are morally and logically SMARTER THAN GOD, pointing blaming and judging fingers at people who are simply living rather than striving to dominate, “win” entry into heaven, or who strive to EXCLUDE other people from both the Garden and a prosperous afterlife in heaven are guilty of acting like Narcissists and Abusers.
The gray rock sits in the stream. By its very essence of existence, it innately knows that where he/she/it positions itself or lands that it changes the topography as well as has the ability to alter things like flow of water, the shape of sand, shifting of silt, and to do things like providing a healthy root growth place for plants.
The gray rock does not need to do as much as its task as essence is to observe and be present.
The NOW moment for a rock is one anchored in the concept of passive, yet active, observation. The rock is stable and constant, with its core sacred geometry of atoms unchanging. The rock is mutable in that weather and exposure to life experiences over time — all related to change and some form of physical or chemical movement — shapes the “character” and (in essence) personality of the rock.
The rock clings to nothing transient, noting water — like emotion — rushes by or tends to evaporate directly from the rock’s surface. The larger or older the rock, the less it’s likely to be impacted by atmospheric changes or current.
The gray rock thinks fast but acts slowly, only occasionally willingly allowing itself to be moved by larger forces. When and if it is impacted by the direct force of another person, “place”, or thing, the rock may shift position without altering its fundamental shape, structural integrity, or nature.
This is how an Empath or highly sensitive person with the gift of perspective and intrapersonal insight can break the cycle of Narcissistic Abuse and learn to heal. By embracing the “what is” with a perspective of acceptance without being willing to overlook activities, cause and effect, or actions, one can truly learn how to observe and respond appropriately with force to force without needing to feel paralyzed at the thought of action or inaction.
People with naturally high levels of empathy tend to care TOO much about what other people think, feel, or need. Having learned that other people’s needs were more important to honor than their own if they wish to physically thrive, scars run deep in the inner child psychology.
Two huge lies are taught to children by Cluster B elders. The first is that the phrase “honor thy mother and thy father” means you are doomed to spending your life taking care of the needs and whims of your elders, suffering abuses and enabling injustice and immorality without complaint. The second is that in order to be a good person, your marriage cannot fail.
LIES, LIES, LIES, people! The narcissistic predator will tell you as loudly as they can as many times as they can as many ways as they can that these are spiritually defined truths and nearly every religion in the WORLD has issued comparably misinterpreted edicts to their followers throughout the years.
The problem is, while the words themselves may have keen moral and spiritual wisdom, they have been misinterpreted by poorly educated, low-empathy level, narcissistic RULERS purposefully to enable their direct success in this mortal life at the expense of all others who they use and abuse.
If one applies logic and sound, non-emotionally charged reason to the phrase HONOR THY MOTHER AND THY FATHER, the phrase itself in no way condones enabling immoral people. A mother or father who fails to protect or justly socially nurture a child is not a mother or father — they are simply a birth parent.
Figuring out that when mom or pop (or grandma and grandpa) broke their covenant with their child to be maternal, paternal (in a nurturing rather than domineering sense), or to raise them in a loving home environment broke their child’s contract can truly help an abuse victim learn how to assert healthy personal and spiritual boundaries for the first time in their life as lifestyle quality relates to abuse.
In the social Darwinian sense, a parent who tries to eat or destroy its young is not the kind of individual genetic unit likely to have its gene pool succeed LONG TERM.
Such is the case for a child of a Cluster B parent — or a group of children born into a bevy of toxic thinkers. As long as they believe the bullshit lie that they are moral misfits unless they willingly and without complaint take abuse from their nuclear family, extended family, and their romantic partner, they cannot go gray rock — nor will they ever be able to DO THE RIGHT THING and stop taking, enabling, or overlooking abuse.
To break the cycle, one must first learn to SHUT UP AND OBSERVE.
Once you observe — record your observations any way you are comfortable… mentally, in a journal, on tape, by making a video, or create an art piece that only YOU know how to decipher.
Then, rather than reacting to the outside source, agent, or provocateur, learn how to observe and reflect upon your own thoughts and emotional processes tied to the issue.
Learn how to deflect commands of people demanding answers, activity RIGHT NOW, or actions. Be bold — if they ask a question about your personal life or psychology, ask them why they are asking rather than feeling compelled to provide them with a direct, accurate, candid answer.
Learn how to give up needing to respond, needing to reach out, needing to try to help them understand why what something they have done, said, or failed to do was WRONG when and if you are situationally exposed to contact with an aggressor. A narcissistic person who cannot let go of their attachment to CARING won’t be able to make the lateral (rather than vertical) shift to a position of trust in the universe.
It is by taking a step to the side rather than above the fray or below the radar that Narcissistic Abuse victims who are able to successfully BE the gray rock are able to take control of their life for the first time and enmesh themselves in the cosmos — rather than willfully and arrogantly throwing their lives down the proverbial “chasing ego” drain.
A person who has faith in God and believes in divine wisdom cannot by logical extension believe they know better about how to create life or an ecosystem than the creator. They also cannot presume to socially judge or exert their personal influence on matters best left to the divine to figure out — like whether or not someone is attracted to a same-sex person because of a reason only GOD knows of and deliberately created with intent and purpose.
It’s selfish and arrogant to presume that Cluster B people don’t have their rightful place in the ecosphere as well. Many traits of egocentrism and sociopathy have helped humans evolve things like agrarian and industrial development over time, and yes… there has always been an argument made that when and if humans get too unruly that an angry or displeased God will come down to smite them with some natural disaster as a means and method of hitting a cosmic reset button for population control.
But egocentrism leads to top-down, competitive thinking that is unsustainable long-term from an evolutionary perspective. It’s also contrary to laws of nature as well as simply chemistry and mathematics to believe that if each older generation uses and abuses the younger generations while giving virtually nothing back and preserving no heritage or legacy of Garden to “caretake” that mankind will eventually fall to a social or stratospheric apocalypse.
The concept of one group going to heaven for all eternity makes no sense from a “matter is neither created nor destroyed” chemistry equation balancing sense. The rock fills its divine purpose as a boulder, turned stone, turned pebble, turned silt, and returned to chemical origin to reform in matter over long periods of time without complaint, questioning a creator God’s plan, or effort.
Retirement to spend the rest of a human life doing nothing but taking while deliberately refusing to engage with contributing? The American dream of those who were raised to believe they are supremely entitled members of the world’s “Greatest Generation”. For their offspring, the Baby Boomers — humans mass-produced like home goods, trained and raised to act like unquestioning servants to their dictatorial, demanding, selfish, bitter, passive-aggressive, morally insane parents.
A handful of Baby Boomers stepped off the hamster wheel of Narcissistic abuse for a brief moment in time when they realized there was another, more peaceful way to live. Embracing the hippie lifestyle, many Boomers started to get it. But those who could not let go of the emotional attachment to convert the asleep or unwilling truly managed to hyper-energize people with Narcopathic tendencies, creating what has landed several generations later in the laps of Gen X, Gen Y, and Millennials (especially) as the current GOP versus the planet political environment people living through elections 2016 are presently faced with…
A gray rock person radiates essence. The more people who go gray rock — making the choice to do the right thing while stepping away from enabling or battling people who actively strive to manipulate, calculate, attention-seek, and do social or physical harm to others — the more likely their individual lifestyle choices will truly help socially evolve their individual national environment.
People who stood by passively and allowed the Holocaust are likely to be the same reincarnated souls who now seek to persecute gays, people who are gender-neutral, and “brown people”. People who actively derided Jewish people for their religion are likely to still be incarnate proclaiming the GOOD of acting like bigots, KKK, and morally insane people like those who support organizations like the Westboro Baptist Church or other Cluster B types of gurus like Charles Manson.
Going gray rock does not mean you overlook or in any way excuse such people’s bad moral activities or behaviors. It means that you literally FORGIVE THEM, LORD, FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO (on an internal emotional and psychological level) while refusing to enable, overlook, or excuse.
No court of law demands a victim of violent crime invites their abuser to Sunday dinner. They also don’t give advice from the judge’s bench that if the crime victim refuses to “forgive” their abuser that they are going to hell and will be socially estranged from their support network, ridiculed, berated, or shunned.
Yet…
Yet…
In homes all around the world, abuse victims are told by gaslighting enablers and active Abusers that they need to let things go and forgive human transgressions.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooope.
The only person an abuse victim needs to forgive is themselves for ever thinking it was their fault that a hostile, emotionally immature, self-indulgent, tyrannical, or dictatorial arsehole held any psychological or emotional sway over them intellectually to begin with — that’s the ONLY validation or forgiveness that is ever needed.
Once you go gray rock, if a human runs up and hits you with a hammer while you are just sitting there BEING… did the rock provoke them? Is the rock to blame for a bored or angry human hitting it? Or was the rock just the object that happened to be present and in the trajectory path of a sentient creature acting and interacting with its own environment?
Human bangs rock, takes out chip.
AND?
The rock observes. It does not excuse the action. It also recognizes that its form has been indelibly reshaped by the experience.
There’s no reason to deny the abuse happened — why would you? There’s no reason for self-blame — if you had no ability to flee or escape, you take it, move on with life, and certainly don’t start bippity bopping and hopping around trying to hit the hammer time human back or to hoot and holler loud enough and long enough that the egocentric basher apologizes and quits.
The analogy is simplistic. But here’s the thing…
A gray rock person DOES have legs and a voice, as well as the choice of in which river bed to sit.
As a mindful and sentient human being, one can observe painful emotions, allow the body to grieve and heal from abuse, and make the logical choice about which storylines to buy or not buy based on the use of (arguably) GOD-GIVEN INTELLECT. If a person is abusing other criminals in ways that are against the law, report them, and testify without hostile intent. If a person is guilty of moral crimes or commits acts of social injustice, stop supporting them.
Walking away from people who are abusive by nature is the smallest and largest step any morally centered human being can make in life as a conscious, spiritual and communal actor. Blood relative or not, if you don’t LIKE someone or they treat you like an object, the best way to stop them from hurting themselves, as well as others, is to love them from a distance but have NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM WHATSOEVER.
That means whether they are succeeding in life or flailing does not matter. If they are seeking your company because they miss having you as a narcissistic supply source, recognize that they feel the loss of social power (most likely) — not actual remorse for having abused you in the past or a nostalgic longing to be with you.
It’s a heartbreaking truth that allows a broken human heart to rebuild itself on hallowed ground, realizing that if a person has an egocentric personality type or a Cluster B personality disorder that they are unlikely to be biologically capable of complex social and emotional change. After all, these toxic people are our parents, our lovers, our own biological children (sometimes), our friends, our family members, our grandparents, occasionally our most previously trusted role models, and oftentimes are our own sisters and brothers.
But a gray rock person knows that the life we live today and are born into is causally inextricably tied to the lifestyle and social decisions made by generations past while simultaneously understanding that the choices we make TODAY greatly affect both our own and the planet’s evolutionary future. People who have the biological intellectual and emotional capacity to comprehend these truths are faced with a moral choice. People who are not smart enough to let the ego go and care enough about generations not yet born or necessarily biologically tied to their own bloodline directly have a more obvious set of complex emotional and spiritual challenges to go through.
The moral choice faced by all humans is whether or not to live life according to the tenants of being what most philosophers call “Men of Good Will”. The gender-neutral statement is perhaps more aptly restated in the 21st century as being a person of quality — or a man or woman of goodwill.
People who are entitlement-based, socially competitive thinkers are simply not men or women of goodwill. They represent the decay of moral and spiritual thought, being of the ilk to cause rather than prevent social decline.
Toxic people — whether man, woman or schoolyard bully child — are just that: toxic. They live life according to “me me me” and gimme-gimme ethics required by the nature of their own internal dialogue that in order for there to be a winner there must be a loser. It’s an intellectually immature position to assert as well as a morally bankrupt one.
In a self-sustaining ecosystem, all parts are dependent. In a body, a liver cell does its job while a neuron in the brain does another. In order for one to succeed, both are mutually dependent on the other.
In a social network, when one person or peer group aggresses another, they socially mimic the metaphoric trait of a psychological social cancer. The unit that seeks to thrive while harming cells unlike their own causes the eventual death of the entire organism.
It’s actually the most extreme form of “cutting your own nose off to spite your face” in metaphoric symbolism. Knowing that a cancer cluster left untreated and allowed to multiply endlessly in pursuit of its own social dominance leads to an inevitable apocalypse of the body politic, one would think that intelligent and well-educated people would consider the concept before pledging allegiance to Cluster B habits.
As of the year 2015, an estimated 12% or more of the world population met diagnostic criteria for having a Cluster B personality disorder. Such toxic social behavior is both epidemic in nature (as a desensitizing skill set taught and promoted by religious and governmental propaganda) as well as growing at home in the minds of children and adults much in the same way a body develops cancer.
To heal the system, one must first halt all replication of toxic cells. Then, one must limit their influence on the body as a whole. One must understand the root cause of dysfunction and make changes to lifestyle and thinking habits accordingly, including taking on new ways of thinking and being that do not allow toxic themed elements [or negative social influences] to control.
Learning how to go gray rock helps a human learn to speak their mind from a place of calm nature and rational understanding. Some people are evil, some actions harmful, and all things are interconnected.
Be the change you want to see in the world. You are who and what you decide to be. Some days that might mean remaining quiet, saying something like, “I understand it’s your choice to be upset and to act hostile right now, but it’s my choice to end this conversation and walk away.” Other times, it might mean asserting that something you see in private or public is wrong and being willing to work out a plan to right it. But most times it means observing social interactions, not being provoked or baited to engage with a time-wasting self-aggrandizer seeking some mortal combat form of verbal engagement, and simply making a pledge to disengage from any social interactions with boorish or irrational and lazy thinkers whatsoever.
That’s the RIGHT way to go GRAY ROCK from a moral and spiritual perspective… letting go and trusting God to handle his own long-term game plan regarding weeding cancerous people out. Our task as humans incarnate on a path to divine right action includes but not limited to being the kind of people who do the right thing at the right time for the right reason with absolute faith that our personal needs simply DON’T MATTER.
If you step out in life with absolute faith that the creator is smart enough to know what he, she, or it is doing, then little things like wondering why people who live in sustainable lifestyles are flourishing while those who are not are spending countless hours each day complaining, promoting dis-ease, and doing all they can to elevate themselves into perverted concepts of feeling socially powerful become things to observe rather than “fear”. If a bully aggresses you, get yourself away from them as quickly as is practicable and seek refuge among healthy people. Turn OFF Fox News and start sharing GOOD news about kind people.
The less attention people pay to Cluster B personality types, the more likely that type is to socially dwindle or lose power. If it is a cantankerous grandmother, drug-addicted spouse, or alcohol polluted young adult? If there is one in every 10 family members likely to have a personality disorder, that means 9 people who choose to do the right thing at the right time for the right reason have some serious tough love work to do.
When it comes time to vote in the 2016 election?
People of goodwill — men and women of good moral character able to set aside their own luxury conveniences if need be to ensure that in 30 years time men and women who jet off into outer space are likely to have a world culture that is hospitable to come home to know in their heart what is the right — and conversely wrong — thing to do.
Whether you choose to remain actively engaged with toxic thinkers personally or to enable Cluster B based behaviors in your personal, professional, social, religious, or spiritual life is wholly and entirely UP TO YOU.
That’s the power of deciding to go GRAY ROCK — having faith in yourself being able to make a decision that is right for yourself with the full knowledge that regardless of what you decide, the sun — at least until CERN finishes blowing it up — is likely to keep coming up with or without your “opinion” or personal need mattering to it a single hoot. Until then, as each new life situation arises, make the best choices and decisions you can moment by moment.
The only true SIN is not learning from mistakes humans make. It’s truly our primary spiritual, religious, and moral challenge to learn how to be good to one another as well as ourselves, letting go of our primal instinct to act selfishly or to allow toxic emotions like irrational fear or unjust fury to dominate our psychology through and through.
