Hoovering is a pop culture reference to a popular brand of vacuum cleaner used in many homes in the West. NarcissistSupport.com describes hoovering (a narcissistic abuse tactic), as follows.
They write, “Hoovering is a technique that is named after the Hoover vacuum cleaner, and is used by Narcissists (and other manipulative people) in order to ‘suck’ their victims back into a relationship with them. Hoovering is often done after the silent treatment is given or the victim has left them.”
When a Cluster B person is seeking attention, it’s common for them to return to either suck up to or manufacture chaos for their preferred scapegoats or to try to work their way back into the life of people who ended contact with them.
They will send unwanted telephone contacts out of the blue, text or email, hawk social media, and do everything in their earthly power to try to get their preferred narcissistic supply sources to pay attention to them.
Why?
Because the only thing a narcissistic thinker fears more than not being in control of another person’s time or emotions is being ignored.
As GoodTherapy.org shares in their article titled ‘Hoover Maneuver: The Dirty Secret of Emotional Abuse‘, “When a survivor has gone no-contact—in other words, the survivor has chosen to disengage completely from the abusive person—often the person with narcissism will attempt to see if the door is still open for more narcissistic supply. He or she may “hoover” prior survivors by emailing, texting, phoning, or showing up at a survivor’s workplace or residence under the pretext of apologizing for transgressions, delivering flowers, hitting the reset button, or feigning illness or a need for assistance (money, the return of belongings, etc.). This cycle is akin to the Power and Control Wheel often referred to in the domestic violence recovery community.”
Step off the hamster wheel of Narcissistic Abuse by refusing to engage with their demands to have access to you personally, professionally, physically, or socially.
Do not be afraid to set and enforce healthy boundaries. People who choose to abuse, lose.
And that is perfectly okay.
It’s not being abusive to another person to limit contact or interaction with them when and if they have proven themselves to be untrustworthy, narcissistic, sociopathic, or vainglorious. It is the moral choice to shun or avoid any person in a local community who has proven themselves to be abusive, neglectful, Machiavellian, or dishonest.
