Are you the victim of a Love Fraud predator? Were you tricked emotionally into trusting someone who turned out to be nothing more than an abusive romantic game player or serial cheater? If the answer to any of those questions is yes, welcome to Narcissistic Abuse recovery for people pleasers.
April Fools day is what it is. A day people who like to pull pranks on others are granted social permission (of sorts) to behave like gaslighters or Machiavellian social predators.
On one day a year the average person who dreams of emulating the world’s most voyeuristic of Psychopaths gets permission from society to torment human others… if not for the entire 24 hour period then in a seriously biopsychology hijacking and profoundly hyperadrenalizing moment of civic discord.
Wait. Does that sound awful?
People playing “jokes” on one another to freak the target out? Hoping to induce PTSD trauma on the neurobiology?
It’s April Fool’s day. Or any other holiday or calendar day of the year.
You are not paying attention and don’t give it a thought when your lover tells you that they are going to be home late that night from work… or that they lost their phone and were unable to call you all afternoon or evening because it was stuck in an odd place in the luggage or it fell under a car or truck seat.
What time do they think they will be home? — you might ask.
You inquire if they will be hungry or not when they come home… thinking if you have a snack now (looking at your watch) that you and they can share a meal together when they get home or if they will have already eaten you might phone a friend to grab a bite someplace together or you will figure out something likely concocted from the pile of leftovers accumulating en masse in the refrigerator.
They mutter and sputter and talk about things that are off topic, seeming annoyed with your questions and acting like being a normal person sharing a life and a home and in a relationship with another ask as a part of common courtesy to collaborate to ensure everyone in the family or unit has their physical, as well as emotional and social needs, met.
They are angry. Why are you asking what time they will be home? How are they supposed to know? — they growl.
And besides — how dare you treat them like they are lying or that they are not telling the truth about where they will be and what they are doing!
The wolf bellows. Huffing and puffing turns more like Slytherin and less like Hufflepuff.
What time — cut off in mid sentence. You never trust me! See? This is why I don’t call you. Every time I do… always with the negativity and calling me some sort of worthless piece of…
Wait a minute, there, bub.
This is no Jokey Smurf Roast or Sing-A-Long.
If you are in a relationship that even remotely resembles the one implied by the tone of the conversation above… your relationship is a joke.
We mean it. And yes — we do know it hurts.
It hurts us to say.
Because everyone on the path of Narcissistic Abuse recovery has been the butt of a Cluster B person’s sick joke.
A joke where they pretend to care.
A joke where they pretend to have the same morals, values, lifestyle preferences, and common sense level of basic emotional and social intelligence as us.
We were sized up. Then, we were mocked by people using mimicry to dupe us into believing they loved, cared about, and or liked us.
Pretending to be our friend… first.
Pretending to find us physically attractive… second.
Pretending to find us a person of human quality, value, and abstract concept of priceless worth… third.
Pretending to be using us as any form of ends in ourselves to be respected rather than treating us as means to their personal ends as Hospitality Abusers.
People who gaslight other human beings in order to do things like self-promote at other human beings’ expense are a particular kind of anti-social human.
Anti-social does not mean that a person is introverted and prefers to avoid crowds. People with ASPD tend to highly prize things like the people and pets and other objects they collect with the hopes of showing them off competitively to other similarly Somatic minded humans.
Jokey Smurf would not be the type likely to — say — pretend to be in love with Smurfette so he could bed her on Saint Valentine’s Day then dump her after union… laughing and telling her she’s ugly, repulsive, he never loved or liked her a day in the relationship, and stealing her jewelry off the dresser before making it out the front door with the fiscal contents of her purse once she relaxed and confessed that she truly loved him and was having a wonderful time. That kind of behavior is all Dark Triad by nature — typically people who are biological ASPD who have been nurtured socially to emulate Overt or Covert Psychopaths while behaving like Collapsed Malignant Somatic Narcissists.
If you have found your way to search for Narcissistic Abuse recovery information on the internet and your computer’s AI was clever enough to bring you material from this website or one like it, give yourself permission to see it as a sign from the universe that the fates are not amused by your Abuser’s behavior.
Know every weird thing they accuse you of is likely to be something they lied and told somebody else you were doing. Educate yourself about key terms like Projection and Reverse Projection as it relates to the rituals involved with brainwashing and grooming targeted marks to develop things like Stockholm Syndrome or other profoundly dysfunctional codependent forms of thinking as well as of socially complicitly behaving
Refuse to continue conversations with another human being who lies to you, who lies about you. or who willfully chooses to abuse the hospitality of others.
Putting on your own oxygen mask first is no joke — get your head on right… fast… by educating yourself about how to spot a person gaslighting or love bombing.
Stop trusting without allowing a person to earn your trust first. Start verifying before believing emotional heartstring tugging tales of someone unknown’s past personal woes.
Realize that in order to be HAPPY, one must first create a space in time and life for processing joy.
If some joker or clown is getting you down, take pleasure in kicking them politely and with little to no emotional energy from you to the curb.
If some painted pony of a RULES GIRL or some kind of Surrendered Wife Alpha position aspiring gal hooked you into their trap, cut their lines.
The more boring you make yourself… the more unavailable… without any form of dramatic form or emotional fanfare the faster you will be able to safely end the relationship with ANY Cluster B person or narcissistic social competitor.
Be clear about why you are withdrawing from the relationship — then, be as disinterested, busy elsewhere, and non-reactive as humanly possible when and if they start hoovering antics.
Read up on hoovering. Read up some more.
Read up on logical fallacy arguments galore. Know how to prevent yourself from leaping to engage with illogical assertions as if they are intellectual and subjectively relevant forms of social and reality-revealing truths as if they are — brushing up on your Gray Rock use of observational skills to help you just say no to being manipulated intellectually or emotionally by people who by free will choice use words to do things like to harm or to “other” confuse.
The more you learn about how Cluster B people con their Narcissistic Supply Sources and Enablers, the more likely you are to be immune to their charm.
Just remember this…
Cluster B people are truly deplorable. They are the ONLY purveyors of intentional FAKE NEWS.
Hold on… pain ends.
Love Fraud predators are being outed and exposed more and more as time marches forward. Mother Earth and Father TIme are not likely to find their antics — from an evolutionary, spiritual, or moral scale of social evaluation — funny.
And that means there’s hope for people who are emotionally intelligent to someday be able to live without fear of being socially preyed upon further and or conned.