Hospitality Abusers waste your time and emotion. How they abuse varies by Hospitality Abuser, victim or target response, and by individualized social and emotional, physical, and or psychological situation.
A Hospitality Abuser is seeking to control other human beings’ time and emotion. The more controlling the Abuser is related to their life in general, the more likely they are to behave in ways that are brutal, cruel, and unrelenting towards anyone who is the unfortunate center of their minute to minute or lifetime-based fixations.
Wasting your time and causing you to feel emotionally and medically unwell is their goal apart from attention-demanding. To be your psychological and emotional focus even once they are out of a room or away from a screen is the Hospitality Abuser’s neurochemical trophy.
If you have a busy and important day or are trying to work… a Hospitality Abuser will strive to socially and medically sabotage you in some way.
Usually, the Hospitality Abuser assaults your time first — forcing you to stop whatever you are doing or thinking about that is productive and beneficial to you in order to respond or to reply or to react to their insults, their temper tantrums, their manufacturing of chaos, and or to their socially irrational demands.
If you are in a good mood, expect them to be miserable. If you are enjoying a holiday or getting ready to celebrate one in good cheer, expect the Hospitality Abuser to do things to compromise your mood, to complicate social plans so they become the center of your attention, and to do or say whatever it takes to ensure you are never allowed to have a nice day or socially successful event sharing time and hospitality with others.
If you are feeling under the weather or had a terrible day, expect the Hospitality Abuser to weaponize whatever they know or suspect about your personal and otherwise private stress levels against you.
Unlike a normal person who would refrain from asking too much of a medically compromised person, the Hospitality Abuser will use that very time to criticize the person or to demand they perform tasks that will medically compromise them further.
They will also likely strive to employ Toxic Shame routines or hostile baiting and provoking to get their target to place the Sadistic Voyeur’s desire to watch someone they place in harms way in more, exacerbated, and or enhanced pain.
Have a big job interview? Expect your keys to the car to go missing in the hour before you are scheduled to leave. Watch their eyes while they pretend they don’t know where “YOU” put them.
Have a date night out with someone special to you? Expect a toxic parent or friend to say something to make you feel physically, socially, or sexually insecure that is so obnoxious you end up emotionally destabilized and thinking about them instead of relaxing and enjoying time with your date on your pre-planned special night.
Hosting a party or special event? The Hospitality Abuser you were counting on to help you with the details might sabotage you by failing to do something like bringing a key item they agreed in advance to bring to the party… or by bringing a sub-quality item they know is not right followed by claiming angrily that if you don’t like what they brought or on purpose chose not to bring without telling you in advance that they would or could not that you really should have handled everything they promised to help you with all by yourself.
A Hospitality Abuser is nearly always Machiavellian but the reason they thrive is that they are opportunistic. They can calculate every which way come Sunday how to sabotage your mood, your health, your personal life, your career, and your social events but it’s minute by minute they succeed by being granted physical access.« Back to Glossary Index