Have you seen any of these 15 warning signs your husband is cheating on you with another man, hiding his real sexuality from everyone he knows?
Pick three of these warning signs and you have some self-reflective homework to do. Pick six or more and you might want to grab a blanket, comfy pillow, a hot cup of tea, a chilled washcloth for your eyes, and a box of tissues.
Because your ‘straight’ husband might be cheating with another man who looks or acts more like Big Gay Al than some starlet wannabe siren or #Bombshell — and bottom line, regardless of who he is or is not cheating on you with regard to sex and gender, that is simply something not nice.
Actually, it is an incredibly egocentric and sociopathic, Machiavellian form of Narcissistic Abuse. That is why it is so important the general public learns to be more compassionate and tolerant of the LGBT community in general.
Hate speech related to sexual orientation keeps men and women frightened, suffering from toxic shame, and in the closet.
There is nothing wrong with a gay man choosing to marry a female. There’s nothing wrong with her loving to keep the house and raise the children while he lives a double life elsewhere. There is nothing wrong with being gay, having group sex with loving partners, or even a wife and male lover knowing one another.
But there is something terribly wrong when one marital partner hides those sorts of details from their female marriage partner.
So here it is… brace yourself, ladies. The hot-to-trot list of red flags and warning signs that a traditional buttsex-hating, non-blowjob giving Christian marriage based on promise vows of cherishing and faith might be on the skids as of late.
Some of these classic warning signs a husband is a serial cheater of any sort, homosexual or otherwise, simply cannot be Cluster B denied:
- The great divide — Growing emotional distance between you and your spouse is an early warning sign; it’s not a guarantee there is something wrong, but generally, lovers who are interested in one another miss the loving warmth, caring, and simple everyday touch of another.
- Decreased sexual interest in you over time — If a man insists on doing you from behind or prefers to keep the lights off, understand chances are they might be fantasizing about a same-sex romantic partner.
- Behavior that does not add up; inconsistencies in details — He said what to whom when, where, why, how (meaning in what tone or manner), and for what reason? And who else knows? If story details are pressed for and common tales don’t line up, understand someone from the Cheater’s peer group may be helping the gaslighting partner pull a seriously “Deep Throat” style cover-up.
- Withdrawn, depressed, moody, outbursts of anger — Cheating partners of both sexes tend to pick fights with their primary partner when and if they are striving to manufacture space and privacy for cheating. Men cheating on their wives with other men instead of women do things like go hunting, work on car projects overnight, plan long fishing, camping, or hiking trips conveniently leaving their cell phones out of range, or they turn the phone off during times they are “in meetings”, “doing business”, or “watching movies”.
- Spend late nights or great amounts of time on the Internet — A key logger on the FAMILY computer can certainly help monitor “children’s” internet activities (wink wink nudge nudge) — but it can also reveal a cheating partner, someone into having gay sex on the down-low, or worse… a partner into deviant lifestyle things like sadomasochism and/or kiddie porn.
- Internet web browser history lists unusual sites — If someone has been active using your computer but claims they did no browsing, understand there is likely to be a gaslighting person with a covert agenda.
- Preoccupation with a physical appearance that has nothing to do with you — You look like a curvy and luscious diva but all the female celebrities and supermodels that he seems to take an interest in look like 12-year-old boys, his mother, Elizabeth Taylor, a Drag Queen, or a bundle of sticks.
- Eyes meet with those of strangers in public — Eye contact is a huge way gay men and ANY cheater (straight or otherwise) check a room to see if anyone is open as a narcissistic supply source or target. Occasional eye contact is normal, healthy, interactive, and polite. But if a person makes eye contact with another person for 5 seconds or more, typically theirs are either fantasizing about having sex with them or planning to kill them. It’s that big of a difference from a casual eye play or side-eyed interaction.
- Claims of working long hours at work or periods of unaccounted time — Living with a partner known for cheating? Let us guess… they ALWAYS work. Their work ethic cannot be surpassed by mere mortals because, quite frankly, the working 6 days a week or for weeks and months away on end gives them all the private time they need to drink, do drugs, meet new prospective life partners, and yes… hook up for straight or gay sex.
- Secretive with the cell phone — Ever try to get your hands on a cheating spouse’s cell phone? The look on their face when and if they realize you are reaching for it is a priceless poker tell of sorts. If your partner is distant, protects their phone or shields calls, texts, and photos, and/or carries burner phones — an intuitive partner being cheated on already will biologically get the tingles and butterflies in their tummy. It’s not jealousy or irrationality setting off those butterflies in the tummy and nerve tingles, either. What it is is your body’s BS filter giving you a warning you are sitting in the presence of a sneaky, Machiavellian, Dark Triad gaslighter.
- Becomes defensive when you ask questions about time or whereabouts — If someone gets hostile or aggressive with you with no believable reason for asking questions of interest to most loving or normal romance or marriage partners, it’s a major red flag. Asking someone travel details and expected time they will be gone or arrive is perfectly normal for a partner to do (if for no other reason than to be able to plan their own day, work schedule, or mealtime plans). Cheaters? Seriously, if you are reading here… knock this shiznit off. If you are going to cheat, don’t act like a dick about it to your wife. Women around the world would prefer to have you tell us you might be late and have you walk in the door at 5 than to ever promise to be someplace then absolutely disappear without a word for hours, the rest of the evening, days, or weeks on end. Pulling the disappearing acts and a spouse finding out you are in another county, country, or state is cruel and abusive punishment of a victim. There is NO valid reason for a peer group to encourage men to behave in such ways to their romantic partner and family (or wife and children) either.
- Unexplained payments on bank statements — Ah, yes… financial infidelity. If you give your partner money to pay the bills or write checks and your partner offers to “drop them off at the post office for you” (but secretly withdraws the money from your checking account while leaving bills unpaid for months instead), understand you are dealing with a serious con artist. Cheaters will siphon massive amounts of cash, steal family heirloom jewelry, sign for loans, buy property in secret, plan second identity escapes with assets, and more when and if they get turned on by doing devious things to use, betray, and abuse their current “destined for the discard pile” romantic partner. What sets their calculating calculator-driven habits in motion? Usually, because their mate caught them cheating personally (like walked in on them), caught them in a lie, or simply started calling them on their bull pockey without falling to pieces. It freaks them out. Unable to conceive of familial love or unconditional love being present in any relationship, if they have a narcissistic or anti-social personality type they will defend themselves against the perceived threat that someday the person who is most loyal is going to abandon them. Always striving to get the jump, most reckless and impulsive people with a selfish mean streak will cheat pro-actively on a loyal spouse for this very reason, coming up with the best and most lame excuse ever — “The reason I cheated on you was because I knew you would cheat on me or leave me for someone else eventually… so I just figured I would beat you to it.” [Yeah — that lame one got one of our staff writer’s exes served with divorce papers on Valentine’s Day back in the day after a hoovering incident begging to come home… something still reported as the best decision made ever.]
- Asks about your schedule more than usual — If he starts hawking your every move, honey… don’t quickly think it’s because he loves you, cares, or that you should be flattered. Aside from a cheater putting a GPS tracker or phone tracker on the wife or the wife’s car in order to avoid her personally, one of the best ways for a cheating spouse (gay or straight) to plan time for a tryst with a casual hookup they meet off of Craigslist, on Tinder, or some other dating website app is to plan illicit activity when the wife is busy. If he ridicules you for not doing enough, this is also a huge red flag — as no kind or loving life partner demands production and proof of evidence where a person was or has been in toxic shaming perpetuity.
- Phone records disappear, bank and credit card statements redirected to work address — Files? Bills? Mail? Letters? Wait, what? Bank Statements? Credit Cards? Receipts? Tax Records? Oh wait… he must have lost those. Oh, wait! No… that’s right… clearly, they never arrived or existed in the first place, or YOU must have lost them or thrown them away yourself. We believe that the Sock Monster is solely responsible for the phenomenon of missing money and all the financial records. Yes, the Sock Monkey. Now smile and nod in zombie-like agreement, Narcissistic Abuse victims.
- He admits to having had gay sex in the past — Oh. Yes. That one last charming little detail. Gay men who live straight lifestyles but cheat on the down-low all have a back story (no Brokeback Mountain pun intended). Typically it involves a heartbreaking tale of incest, child molestation, or of a childhood/young adulthood same-sex incident — creating a mental flashback moment that the chances of the subconscious trying to repress and heal simultaneously. It’s that push-pull in the mind of men who pretend to be homophobic but hide gay urges that leads to a sort of mirrored Cognitive Dissonance, meaning the Closet Ambiguous sees himself as a straight male who is too embarrassed to admit how much he gets turned on by the thought of gay sex, anal stimulation, or pleasuring other same-sex people. Having gay sex in the past does not matter to people who don’t try to hide it or who are not active down-low cheaters.