Serial sexual abusers tend to have Cluster B personalities that lean toward anti-social personality types. As the ultimate situational abusers, people who aggress, use, harm, or manipulate others into complying to sex willingly (based on presenting themselves fraudulently as caring, loving, kind, or compassionate individuals) are incredibly Machiavellian and covertly narcissistic abusers. Whether people are sexual abusers by nature or they grow up socially supported to believe the things they do and say to other human beings willingly while abusing them socially or personally is right makes absolutely no difference to their victims. If a person has a sexual predator personality type, they are narcopathic at best, leaning heavily towards acting like Dark Triads or Dark Tetrads.
People who have either been situationally abused by a sexual predator or are abusers themselves with regard to sexual issues are virtually everywhere. More than 12% of the human population actually meets diagnostic criteria for having full-blown personality disorders in general (as of a 2015 statistical analysis). Many of these same people — both overt and covert in their state of mental perversion — are our co-workers, neighbors, family matriarch, family patriarchs, religious leaders, and local “pillars of community” (having risen to positions of rank and authority based on making illogical and dictatorial appeals that lesser-willed people support their desires to know what any logical and ethical person knows in their heart is never under any circumstance truly right).
When discussing sexual abuse, many people get nervous or uncomfortable. It’s no surprise why, either. According to the Crimes Against Children Research Center, 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys are sexually abused by age 18. That’s a whole lot of Dark Triad or Narcopath personality types running around, covertly or overtly having gotten away with or actually been caught red-handed for civil and moral crimes committed for the sake of their personal pleasure.
[That’s a lot of people with sexual identity issues who are out there, many of whom are unlikely to have been raised with proper social and emotional support from the family members, peer groups, or religious organizations in their local community who posit themselves as moral authorities while shunning victims and enabling abusers.]
This begs the question posited by ChildMolestationVictims.com, “How can you keep your kids safe from sexual abuse?” That question gets tough to answer in practice with over 12% of the world population known in the past 2-4 generations to have given rise to an epidemic crop of human beings who meet all the physical and psychological definitions of human beings with complex personality disorders.
The only real answer is to break the silence about our own experiences generationally regarding Narcissistic Abuse of a sexual or sexually deviant nature, to educate our children and grandchildren about both our own past traumas and hope for change in the future, and to truly teach them how to avoid feeling shame or embarrassment with regard to talking things out.
Cluster B predators are typically enabled by spouses, parents, close family friends, their own non-affected children, and narcissistic family members. Blame shifting is one common tactic used to invalidate a victim. Calling victims things like delusional, attention-seeking, liars, people who “make up wild stories in their head”, and crazy in general are a few classically reported others.
If a young lady is sexually assaulted by a friend, stranger, or family member, she’s seldom believed and rarely supported. Typically blamed for the incident, either she’s told she was asking for it, too flirtatious (even as a toddler), was dressed provocatively, or has her reputation smeared for being a “slut who deserved it”. If she’s LUCKY she’s told all these reasons a rape, molestation, or sexual trauma occurred — as the most toxic and truly Machiavellian of sexual predators and enablers will flat out invalidate and totally deny her claims any sort of inappropriate touching, leering, jeering, or perverse acts of lewd and selfish abuse by a predator ever occurred.
If a young man is sexually assaulted, he’s told he should be grateful for the experience. He’s completely encouraged to feel pride at having been sexually assaulted as long as the person doing the molesting or forced sexual act is of the opposing gender.
If a young man is molested at a young age?
In the eyes of many misogynists, that’s proof positive that he should be very proud to have been used and treated as a sexual object. What’s more, the same young men tend to go on to believing that losing control of themselves sexually is a compliment to pay to a woman, leading literally gangs of young men around the world (from third world country streets to frat houses on America’s most prestigious college campuses) to socially and morally support one another into actively embracing date rape culture.
But then there’s the taboo of incest or being raped or molested by a person of the same sex. If the act is done lovingly, the victim who is taught to feel shame or embarrassment for having sexual memories with a same-sex partner can have their entire adult sexual lives literally ruined by the memories of having enjoyed being touched or fondled in any way by a same sex other child or adult partner. If the person doing the touching or leering is a member of one’s own biological family — or worse, a step-sibling or step-parent brought into the home due to a bio parent having a romantic interest in the adult partner — children who are sexually abused at any age under 25 tend to exhibit lifelong toxic and shame-based emotional confluxes related to sexual self-esteem and emotional security base level behaviors.
But what IS child sexual abuse, exactly — and how are the same “games” extended into adulthood as covers for adult sexual abuse transgressions? Many people who were raised in toxic family environments tend to perpetuate teaching children how to both abuse and be used by sexual predators while turning a blind eye to the very real psychological and emotional harm they do.
Inappropriate touching of children (for example, to make the term perfectly clear), includes but is not limited to the following:
- touching or fondling a child’s genitals/private parts or making a child touch someone’s genitals/private parts
- playing sexual games with children, teens, or young adults
- tongue-kissing or kissing a child or teen in a provocative or sexual way
- rubbing against child’s or teen’s body or clothing in an intimate way
- oral-genital or oral-breast contact
- digital penetration or penetration with an object
- vaginal, oral or anal intercourse
Such extreme examples of what sexual abuse sound obviously wrong to people who come from families with good parents and loving, psychologically healthy, and morally fit peer groups. Sadly, many children — as in the 1 in 5 girls and the 1 in 20 boys mentioned above — are either too fearful or feel too ashamed to come forward about abuse suffered in childhood when and if they even figure out that having been touched inappropriately as a child in such ways was wrong. With childhood experiences at the core of sexual identity, no wonder so many humans grow up thinking it’s perfectly acceptable to treat other human beings as targets for social use, abuse, or sexual harm.
But sexual abuse and child sexual abuse does not start in the dark or only happen in some private room where a situation abuser thinks no one will notice what is happening to or with a child or person they have targeted for use and abuse. It happens out in the open, right in front of Mommy Dearest and Enabling Henchmen… right in front of friends, family members, and is even snuck onto social media by toxic parents and voyeuristic abusers to show off their “trophy” memories with alarming regularity.
Sexual abuse occurs in the following non-touching related forms, too:
- showing a child pornographic videos or images
- indecent exposure
- taking sexually explicit photos of a child staged in suggestive poses or in various states of undress
- encouraging a child to witness sexual acts
- masturbating in front of a child
- forcing a child to masturbate
- making sexual comments to a child
As children who have been molested, sexually abused in a pervasive manner using the techniques of forced sexualization listed above, or forcibly raped by a friend, family member, trusted person, or even a total stranger come of age, all tend to exhibit extreme traits of sexual dysfunction with regard to sexual self-esteem. Many tend to enter into toxic or abusive romantic relationships that further erode their self-esteem, become involved in prostitution or the “club scene”, and oftentimes turn to self-abuse method of coping (such as engaging in problematic drug use and alcohol abuse when drinking).
It’s a major red flag that an abuse victim has developed a Cluster B personality disorder themselves in response to sexual abuse when the person themselves begins to actively socially and emotionally objectify and subsequently use others. The more humor they find in the humiliation or degradation of others, the more likely the are to have developed sociopathic personality traits rooted in deep-seated power and control issues.
If they themselves were brutalized, chances are high that a sadistic streak will manifest in their personality if they are not (as trauma victims) validated and properly socialized. People who get involved with underground or deviant sex trends like B&D or S&M tend to report having been exposed to acts or imagery at a young age that involved sexualizing overt trauma issues.
Those who are too embarrassed to openly discuss sex from a forensic psychology perspective are the children who grow up with serious psychological and repressed sexual identity issues. People who have homosexual tendencies suffer the worst social and internal psychological persecution of all, while those who are taught how to use sex to avoid being abused tend to disconnect from what could and should otherwise be a profoundly loving and supportive physical ritual.
Had little Jon Benet Ramsey lived to maturing and the age of being a consenting adult, chances are that her parents having hyper-sexualized her as a child would have turned her into an adult with a Somatic Narcissism streak. As the perfect example of how to socially use and abuse a child for personal titillation and profit, her parents traded that little girl’s social virtue and safety for the sake of their own status and amusement.
Resist the urge to be the kind of parent or human being who takes pleasure objectifying other human beings or who overlooks the social-sexual abuse of children or young adults. While the old adage “hurt people hurt people” might not be accurate (noting that Cluster B people hurt people while normal, kind, or empathetic human beings turn the other cheek is technically speaking far more accurate), it is absolutely true that any human being socially used or shamed either having sex or for being of a certain sexual orientation is likely to suffer a lifetime of either hurting others or themselves due to being emotionally handicapped by toxic shame.
While all child abusers and sexual abusers are guilty of narcissistic and predatory thinking as well as Narcissistic Abuse, not all people who have Cluster B personality types are expressly guilty of sexual abuse. But noting that nearly all spouses or love interests of Cluster B people report their mate abusing them sexually and emotionally on a routine basis, engaging in acts of serial cheating, or engaging in the routine sexual exploitation of other human beings either virtually through the use of pornography, having affairs, or acting as patrons of prostitutes and strippers on a routine basis seems at least on surface level analysis to suggest that all toxic thinkers tend to have sexual issues at the core of their internal obsessions.
A quick look at friends and family social media feeds for a fact-checking analysis of who is hung up about sexuality and sexual identity issues is definitely a good idea. People supporting public election of religious zealots, those who openly admire Cluster B personality types, individuals publicly boycotting businesses for supporting the LGBT community while striving to shame gays, those obsessed with preventing transgender people from discreetly changing or using a restroom, are all likely to have been child sexual abuse victims themselves.
Resist the urge to overlook sexually abusive behavior of any type. Avoid the habit of chalking up lewd, lascivious, or public hate speech use to something related to how people were raised.
Never allow “freedom of speech” rights to be used to bully or disenfranchise another human being based on gender, looks, sexual orientation, or orientation. It’s OVERT, direct, caustic, socially harmful enabling of sexual abuse of all ages and generations of genders (meaning male, female, hermaphrodite, and the newly emergent genetic XXY and XYy biologically gender neutral personality types).
Ask victims of the Nazis whether or not people they knew who failed to take a stand socially while asserting themselves on the side of right were guilty of moral crimes, enabling them to be dehumanized. Willful disregard of other human beings human rights is a moral crime rooted in toxic thinking no matter what your culture at any time.
Never participate in, overlook, or allow the sexual-social harassment, overt or covert sexual abuse of a person you know, or social shaming of another individual (regardless of that person’s age, stereotypical affiliations, or sexual stereotype). To do so is questionably legal, arguably immoral, and a direct reflection on the abusive person with regard to clinical diagnosis of personality type.