How dangerous is YOUR abuser? If you are living with a Cluster B person, your life and health are absolutely in everyday danger.
People who choose to socially support social predators are in constant physical threat of being abused. Not only are stress injuries likely to result in the body of the person’s Enabler, at any moment they could be physically assaulted, permanently maimed, or actually killed.
The following excerpt from Characteristics of Abusers notes the following common behavior patterns of physically dangerous and escalating violent abusers.
How dangerous is the abuser? Assessing lethality in an abuse situation:
Some domestic violence is life threatening. All domestic violence is dangerous, but some abusers are more likely to kill than others and some are more likely to kill at specific times. The likelihood of homicide is greater when the following factors are present:
- Threats of homicide or suicide: The abuser may threaten to kill himself/herself, the victim, the children, relatives, friends, or someone else;
- Plans for homicide or suicide: The more detailed the abuser’s plan and the more available the method, the greater the risk he or she will use deadly force;
- Weapons: The abuser possesses weapons, and has threatened to use them in the past against the victim, the children, or himself/herself. If the abuser has a history of arson, fire should be considered a weapon;
- “Ownership” of the victim: The abuser says things like “If I can’t have you no one can” or “I would rather see you dead than have you divorce me”. The abuser believes he or she is absolutely entitled to the obedience and loyalty of the victim;
- Centrality of victim to the abuser: The abuser idolizes the victim, depending heavily on him or her to organize and sustain the abuser’s life, or the abuser isolates the victim from outside supports;
- Separation violence: The abuser believes he or she is about to lose the victim;
- Repeated calls to law enforcement: A history of violence is indicated by repeated police involvement;
- Escalation of risk-taking: The abuser has begun to act without regard to legal or social consequences that previously constrained his/her violence; and
- Hostage taking: He or she is desperate enough to risk the life of innocent persons by taking hostages. There is a very serious likelihood of the situation turning deadly.
Resist the urge to minimize Narcissistic Abuse. The physical, social, and psychological effects of living in danger on a day to day basis while feeling unsafe or unwanted in your own home cause C-PTSD and life-threatening illnesses.
If you think that your Abuser is going to mature or mellow with age, clinical evidence from mental health experts and Abuse Survivors openly refutes your magical thinking.
No one is trying to insult your intelligence, but if you refuse to self-educate about the nature of Cluster B people one of them is likely to harm you. If you are reading this post, chances are you already know full well or suspect that the person who caused you to research this topic is likely to have a serious personality problem.
Cluster B individuals tend to get more brutal and adept at covering up their crimes as they age. Prone to increasing degrees of egocentric and grandiose behaviors, they tend to lash out at their most loyal as well as steadfast of caretakers.
Follow facebook.com/flyingmonkeysdenied on Facebook for more information about Cluster B people and their pattern behaviors.
If you are in need of shelter, contact your local police department. They can put you in touch with the right social services department to help you arrange safe passage to a local domestic violence shelter.
Do not hesitate to file police reports, but do be sure when you do to include specific or approximated times and dates of past physical assaults as well as any utterance of threats.
Call 911 or seek protection in a well-lit, public area — preferably one with a running security camera — if your abuser is in hot pursuit. No material item is worth losing your life so be ready to flee the first minute you have the help and safe passage assistance to save YOU.
How dangerous is your Abuser? If you are still breathing, you are still a SURVIVOR.
Keep that in mind before sacrificing one more hour or day of your life. Nothing you do will ever be enough to please them, and Enabling is not being unconditionally loving.
If you choose to enable, it’s not going to net gain you spiritual street cred.
Enabling promotes trauma bonding — never love.
What’s more, when you enable it helps the Abuser to traumatize, potentially harm, and gaslight other people.
That makes someone who morally may otherwise be blameless into the Narcissistic Supply source ready and willing to play his or her accomplice.
If you are living with an abuser, walking on eggshells and frozen in fear, chances are you have been living in a state of fight-or-flight for so long that you are likely to suffer physical symptoms that harm you.
Do a healthcare self-assessment before you roll your eyes and try to talk yourself into believing you are doing well by persevering and trying to endure.
Read up on symptoms of health events like showing signs of magnesium deficiency, adrenal fatigue, “sourceless anxiety”, generalized depression with social anxiety, physical and emotional exhaustion, sleep disorders, stress-induced blood pressure or general cardiac issues, mood dysregulation, and lowered resistance to common viruses and infections.
If you are being abused or threatened in your home environment or workplace, your risk of stroke is likely to elevate. The chances of developing a life-threatening health issue like cancer or a heart attack are huge.
So understand this…
If you chose to stay all you are doing is committing passive suicide on the hope that your Abuser’s core personality type — something formed between birth and age four, rooted in part in genetics as well as life experience, and caused in great degree by neural defect — is somehow magically going to change if you stay.
If your Abuser is prone to violent behavior, chances are A) they have ASPD and B) if they are over the age of 28 — the age when most Cluster B people’s neuroplasticity freezes — they are likely to become more sinister, abusive, and irrationally mean when they age.
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