Narcissists groom Enablers to abuse targeted victims as efficiently as they groom children and love interests to develop Cognitive Dissonance based Stockholm Syndrome. Sycophants who believe they have a Narcissist under control are likely to find out they were recruited to act like Flying Monkeys without actively knowing they were also becoming Abusers.
A Narcissist lives to control other people; their time, their emotions, and who is in or out of their personal and or professional social circle. When and if a person sucks up to someone Narcy, understanding that there will be a much larger price paid for interacting will be paid for Enabling the Social Predator to have access to social support than what the Enabler is expecting.
Are you friends with someone who abused or neglected a former spouse and or child? Understand you are essentially siding with a social criminal, making their victim feel dehumanized, and using victim pain to one-up yourself by using the Narcissist (or Abuser) to meet your needs at the moral, spiritual, and physical social and emotional medical as well as spiritual needs of the targeted other.
People who are fickle, Machiavelli says, are those who are socially untrustworthy by habit. Fickle people use others, treating the people they use and mistreat like a means to the Hospitality Abuser’s personal agenda.
When you enable someone known or suspected of having a toxic personality to give the civic appearance that someone untrustworthy is respectable, you open the door for the Social Predator to do things like to prey on your — rather than simply their own — social support network. Something small like adding a Cluster B individual to your social media feed where they have access to your friends list can prove socially, legally, financially, and emotionally disastrous.
Why? Because you have been targeted for Love Fraud and you think you are the person who is conning a Predator.
Predators are wonderful at grooming victims to walk on eggshells. When they say jump, victims tend to already anticipate the dust-up and to be in the air moving to a safe space or distance where no one can hit or yell at or throw things at us when the Predator comes unglued by predictable habit and pattern.
But Enablers are even more prone to anticipating what the Narcissist is going to desire. Giving them what they want — especially if it hurts or neglects a target of the Narcissist the Enabler also does not mind hurting or who they personally enjoy harming — is the Codependent Beta Narcissistic Sociopath’s social Modus Operandi and pleasure.
Have a child with an ex who your Abuser and the child’s coparent profoundly neglects? The Narcissistic Harem will tell everyone on social media as loudly as they can how awesome of a parent the person abusing their ex and discard pile offspring actually is… complete with pictures of expensive prizes and gifts anyone who overlooks they are abusive is readily given by the abusive person to their “replacement family” and to their “OTHER” children.
Have a parent who treated you terribly as a child sabotaging your life and marriage to the best of their ability now? Expect them to do things to triangulate you from your mate and your children (their grandchildren) while seeking to ensure they — not you — remain in control of your social and emotional fate.
Have a grandparent who treated you like a Golden Child while they drove your mother or father something they described as akin to emotionally mental? Did your parent complain with the most pained look of anguish on their face when they talked about what grandma or grandpa used to act like when Mommy or Daddy was little and or out of the child’s or other manipulated targeted party’s contemporary earshot?
Congratulations, Abuse Enabler — you are their successfully recruited Flying Monkey. In case you are wondering, that means you were and or are the Machiavellian and socially sophisticated Hospitality Abuser’s mark.
An Enabler does not have to be told to friend, to include, or to support someone who they know or suspect hurts or neglects other people on purpose. They like the feeling of being at the right hand of the toxic person acting as their cheer-leading squad and greatly enjoying being in the favorable limelight of a bully.
Sadistic Voyeurs, Pot Stirrers, and Meddlesome people are the most likely to be Covert Narcissists and/or Nurtured Narcopaths themselves.
A Covert Narcissist will hide their social bloodlust from most, acting like the Hyenas did with Uncle Scar in the hit Disney film and Broadway Production “Lion King”. In the end, indulging the emotionally hedonistic demands of a Social Predator tends to bite them in the arse but while they are basking in the glow of what they know or suspect is a Cluster B person Love Bombing, the Covert Narcissist will pretend they are themselves socially elevated.
A Sadistic Voyeur needs their fix, so expect them to socially position themselves on the friend list of any person or peer group involved with the social menacing of others or who are on the wrong side of something like Politics and or of a High Conflict Divorce.
They are the same person who was cheering both sides of a fight on in elementary school because they liked to watch. They are people who laugh out loud hard watching television shows like “America’s Funniest Home Videos” and at movies like “Jackass” and won’t see it coming when the predator starts undermining their esteem within their own social network.
Pot-Stirrers love to feel secretly powerful. They tend to crave a neurochemical called Duper’s Delight that freezes Neuroplasticity almost as quickly as indulging socially violent behavior and emotional hedonism.
Meddlesome people tend to be family first, followed by friends who have been in the mix for a while. This is the peer group everyone (Alpha Predators, Transactional People, and overt Abuse Enablers) need to be most wary of and to avoid including in personal or professional life whenever socially functionally humanly possible.
Meddlesome people are those who were groomed as a youth by Machiavellian individuals to use words to trick people into harming themselves. Whether they pretend to be a trustworthy confidante who blabs or they make subtle but undermining, poisoning the well and/or alienating comments that triangulate people, they — not the Alpha Predators — are the most dangerous humans to socially tolerate or to enable.
Meddlesome people are readily groomed by a Narcissist to make the Narcissist’s victims feel personally horrible. They groom then broker Toxic Shame; they lie, they gaslight, and they act as if they are non-stop in a play.
The Narcissist who finds they brought a meddlesome person into their Narcissistic Harem will even themselves eventually feel the impact of being undermined. The Meddlesome person cannot help themselves — as a Beta social predator with parasitic instincts, they tend to contribute nothing to the world personally while they do other most socially “successful” looking toxic individuals and deplorable peer groups’ anti-social, caustic, and or socially destructive bidding.
Turning on a Narcissist, the Beta Enablers are the folks who will do things like calling the police on their Narcissistic Rivals. Some days that might mean on the Narcissist’s target — which the Narcissistic will elate and socially reward them for making a falsified claim to weaponize police using gaslighting tactics. Other days it means they will turn in their own family members on the sly… doing things like having other people’s lives and businesses turned upside down while they pretend someone else manufactured the chaos — someone, anyone besides them themselves.
The Beta says, “Who me? I didn’t do anything!” all the while slinging mud at the targets of the Alpha and while harming the predator on the sly all by themselves. If a Beta can betray a stronger Alpha Social Predator while framing a victim of that stronger predator for the harm or assault, they emotionally position themselves for a neurochemical toxic hyperadrenalizing win. The Narcissist never benefits from relationships with these types… as they tend to harbor Collapsed Narcissist ethics and can only be counted on socially to gaslight.
But in that same notion, grooming their Enablers to act like Flying Monkeys and to manufacture chaos, in general, is what the Narcissists crave. Whatever it takes to socially and emotionally get their fix of neurochemical boredom alleviating pleasure.
When a Narcissist is tanked by their own Narcissistic Harem, even the excitement of being challenged or betrayed seems to make Cluster B individuals feel important. Enabling them to hurt or to neglect others, they convert Flying Monkeys into active and by freewill choice Social Abusers; enabling a Beta Covert Collapsed Narcissist to have access to the Narcissist’s social circle keeps the Predator on edge and constant alert with the hope that even if they look foolish or they themselves are betrayed that they will be in the spotlight socially and emotionally in the mind and life of others for at least a few days.
The Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse, inherently, thrives based on Narcissist and Enabler codependency. A child groomed to emulate Cerebral or Somatic Narcissists or to tolerate some adult’s or sibling housemate’s BPD or Childhood Conduct Disorder antics when they are young becomes an adult Mole Woman.
What’s a Mole Woman? Watch “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” scenes featuring The Reverend. SNL’s Tina Fey nailed the scenario.
Understanding that a person groomed to find personal esteem in Enabling stronger social predators is a thing, it is easier to root that kind of nonsensical thinking out of non-Cluster B mindset as well as to spot the process in real life when and if a Social Predator is targeting.
Avoid being recruited as a willing Flying Monkey. Avoid trusting anyone who shows social red flags that they treat a cherry-picked group of Abuse Enablers like gold while treating someone they target as a Preferred Scapegoat or targeted peer group to estrange like some kind of nasty bathroom tile mold.
When Machiavelli described transactional people and Abuse Enablers as fickle and likely to betray everyone, he was (from a Forensic Psychology standpoint) quite on it. Narcissists groom Enablers who pull, “Et tu, Brute” on anyone above or below them (eventually) who has shown them favor.
Dealing with either a Narcissist or with someone who intentionally uses words, deeds or inaction to harm or neglect targeted others socially or physically for mistreatment is never socially or pragmatically recommended unless there are no possible [personnel type] alternatives.
Refuse to be that person who a Narcissist grooms to emulate a Social Predator.