If they are narcissistic by nature or nurture and have a tendency to behave in ways that enable them to gaslight, chances are the socially aggressive, toxic thinker — whether they are an Introvert or an Extrovert — is likely to have “fans” who find them delightful Narcissistic Supply sources.
When it is a toxic elder, they tend to recruit conformists and young people in the family to act like Flying Monkeys. Prone to doing the narcissistic or anti-social person’s toxic bidding, the Harem consists of Cluster B personality types — overt and covert — who, when it comes to social life, they compulsively tend to act like bottom feeders.
If the Cluster B person is a love interest, understand they are prone to having 10 or more avenues for affair and packs of “friends” willing to lie for and cover for them so they can party in private, cheat, and Gaslight whoever is their primary mate into believing they have low self-esteem and are imaging things when and if they start SUSPECTING.
The Harem is typically comprised of other Cluster B types who pot-stir, meddle, bait, provoke, threaten extortion, you name it. They will do or say whatever they can to harm the Cluster B person’s primary Narcissistic Supply — usually that person’s preferred scapegoat.
The goal is to jockey for position, striving to shun and isolate a husband or wife who is being lied to a serially abused. If they can triangulate and conquer the predator and keep him or her for “their own”, they believe they WIN when the innocent partner and truly loving person is left in the discard pile, traded in for the social support and fawning typically of sycophants and career criminal types.
In grade school, toxic adults in charge describe the behavior of ostracizing one child in order to ruin their social relationship with a pack predator that Monkeys and Hyenas think of as a commodity as the THREES A CROWD or MEAN GIRLS phenomenon.
The Sycophant, behaving like a Collapsed Narcissist but presenting as a savvy Somatic, will ridicule the Alpha B’s choice of romantic partner (or “friend”), then do all they can to encourage the abuse-prone personality type to cheat on, steal from, to lie to or about, and abuse the Sycophant’s targeted rival while proffering themselves up on a romantic platter as their true mark’s reward for their willingness to actively strive to destroy others.
They, the suck-up, will promise to “do” all the things the innocent spouse does for the Alpha — replacing them using copycat methods.
Once the Alpha agrees to make that person their Sub, the Sub wannabe begins the process of striving to erase the existence of the former mate with the help of their own toxic friends and family.
When the primary relationship with the targeted ex is beyond redemption, the Machiavellian Hyena begins the typically years or decades-long process of devaluing and antagonizing the Alpha to the point the stronger predator either snaps and assaults them or is themselves reduced to a broken down, financially distraught, typically criminalized MESS.
Killing any sense of life or pro-social promise in a 20 or 30-year-old person is the Narcissistic Harem’s SPECIALTY. The targeted victim who realizes early on what the Circus Monkeys game actually is can emotionally recover.
But the Alpha trapped by their own Harem tends to only realize the extreme folly of their own choices while sitting in a jail holding cell, again… sent there by a person who they used to praise for how “great” they were at lying to authorities or under oath while staging persecutory frivolous lawsuits against the Abuser’s former love interests or spouses.
By the time sex appeal starts to ramp down and the financial cost of being buried under the mountain of bills and debt the toxic suck-up partner puts them through. In a typical — arguably perfect karmic case scenario — a hospitality betrayer who jilted a partner for another ends up with a pile of arrests for domestic violence.
The only outcome that is better is when and Abusive Love Fraud Predator ends up devalued and abused by the replacement unit, miserable and emotionally tormented daily by their Co-Narcissist, with both parties unable to leave one another due to lack of romantic interest in them by nearly any and every prospective new life partner.
The pattern typically presents as the couple who “always gets back together” — both in constant hot pursuit of romantic titillation with other people who reject them socially the moment someone warns them that the pair is prone to gaslighting and truly sick people.
The reason why so many Cluster B people tend to have people like sex trade workers and young ladies (or young gents) waiting in the wings, actively claiming they are in the Abuser’s corner is — quite frankly — because most neurotypical people are immune to the Narcissist’s gaslighting charms (acutely aware of their propensity for smarm).
It only takes one glance at someone’s true criminal record — including their aliases — to figure out who is and who is not a romantic safe bet to partner with in the 21st century. Take the time to do research on people you know and are learning to trust.
Looking at things like road rage behaviors, driving records that show a history of social aggression, and high conflict divorce paperwork to figure out who is and who is not likely to be Cluster B, egocentric, narrow-minded, or actively abusive.
People who fawn over charismatic abusers and who find their bullish, aggressive, and dictatorial temperaments sexy tend to be Covert or lesser Cluster B personality types than the hot commodity aggressor.
As compulsively vertical, socially competitive thinkers, their goal is to become NUMBER ONE in the eyes of their target. Narcissistic Harem toys tend to get off on behaving in ways that are sexually abusive to other people, clandestine, and downright duplicitous as well as sneaky.
Addicted to the rush of feeling like they are better or sexier than other people, the Machiavellian Dark Triads who keep them tend to inflate their egos and encourage them to trauma bond to the stronger predator.
Again, if the Cluster B person is an elder, the toxic senior will take great pride in manufacturing triangulation between love interests typically while simultaneously striving to create sibling rivalry between their own adult children.
Toxic grandparents who ask for family members’ loyalty tend to target family black sheep and preferred scapegoats for enormous amounts of social persecution that sates the pack’s desire to predate.
The more Dark Triad the elder, the more likely they will be to obsess over grandchildren. If a toxic grandparent can turn their own offspring on one another then get their grandchildren to turn on targeted parents? The family holiday photos are sure to show who is and who is not part of the Cluster B person’s posse of Flying Monkeys and willing enablers…
A.K.A. the “Narcissist’s Harem” or #NarcissisticHarem when and if you are doing research about how to explain the phenomenon to your therapist, support network, or an actual divorce lawyer.« Back to Glossary Index