Are you looking for a fast facts list of characteristics that will help you spot someone who is narcissistic — or a Narcissist — or (quite possibly) something [someone] with a more sinister nature? Consider the following list of characteristics of Narcissists posted by the folks over at NarcissisticAbuse.com.
Consider the following list of characteristics of Narcissists posted by the folks over at NarcissisticAbuse.com, understanding that when it comes to Narcissistic Abuse, it only has to happen ONCE to leave a victim psychologically scarred with relationship-related PTSD, forced to relive the event again and again (sometimes for the rest of their natural-born or genetic bloodline’s life).
They write, “Certain characteristics appear with stunning regularity among narcissists. Since narcissism is on a continuum, some will have more than others. These characteristics apply to males and females.”
If you see yourself in this list, self-reflect before throwing yourself off of a psychological metaphoric cliff.
Everyone behaves in ways that are thoughtless, careless, or reckless from time to time. The list describes something called “course of conduct” — meaning, a person who — regardless of prompting by external stimuli — behaves persistently day in and day out according to behavioral patterns listed in bullet points.
If you were, for instance, acting under extreme duress and behaved poorly once or twice, we are NOT describing your character. Reacting to abuse or an upsetting event in such a way that you fail to emotionally or socially be at your best does NOT — we repeat does NOT — make you a Narcissist.
The word Narcissist is a MEDICAL term, not something to be bantered around lightly. People with NPD terrorize preferred scapegoat targets with ruthless and utterly deplorable, situationally abusive PERVASIVE and essentially CHRONIC behaviors.
If you are adorable 99% of the time… or even 98 or 97… you are good. The following list of characteristics of Narcissists describes the deplorable, everyday behaviors that people with NPD [Narcissistic Personality Disorder] tend to be proud
The more behavior patterns and types of behaviors mentioned herein that your Abuser or suspected person exhibits a tendency to do, the more likely they are to have Cluster B issues.
1. Self-centered. His/her needs are paramount. [Egocentrism dominates all thinking — a “what’s in it for me?” constant mentality.]
2. No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds. [Lacks conscious ability to process complex emotions that might cause them otherwise to think or behave differently.]
3. Unreliable, undependable. [Not as predictable as a true Sociopath (someone who will choose the wrong thing to make life more exciting), but prone to placing the hedonistic needs of self before the civil rights or needs of others.]
4. Does not care about the consequences of his/her actions. [Typically prone to expressing contempt for the law — especially if they themselves are involved in a career field like being a court official, and Attorney, or Law Enforcement — or contempt for people, as can be seen in many NPD doctors and disdainful or uncompassionate school teachers, public school faculty, or hospital nurses.]
5. Projects faults on to others. High blaming behavior; never his/her fault. [Prone to behaving like a Collapsed Narcissist when and if life does not turn out like they wanted it.]
6. Little if any conscience. [Low emotional intelligence regardless of height of IQ levels.]
7. Insensitive to needs and feelings of others. [Rude, boorish, typically crass or snarky sense of caustic — rather than actual “dark” — humor.
8. Has a good front (persona) to impress and exploit others. [Typically has a charming or “expert” personna.]
9. Low stress tolerance. Easy to anger and rage. [Leaves victims with the impression they cannot wait to get away.]
10. People are to be manipulated for his/her needs. [Fond of the phrase, “People are sheep.”]
11. Rationalizes easily. Twists conversation to his/her gain at other’s expense. If trapped, keeps talking, changes the subject or gets angry. [Well known for situationally provoking and bullying, typically followed by pretending they did nothing to their victim (a.k.a. denying responsibility).]
12. Pathological lying. [Prone to blurting untruths to provoke duress in their conversational target, then typically elects to claim they never did, said, or meant it.]
13. Tremendous need to control situations, conversations, others. [Doninates conversation without showing any sign of truly understanding one correctly interpreted word of their conversation partner’s position.]
14. No real values. Mostly situational. [Big fans of asserting “Alternative Facts” when it serves their need or immediate purposes with little to no regard for truth; prone to compulsive gaslighting forming as routine conversational control habit. ]
15. Often perceived as caring and understanding and uses this to manipulate.
16. Angry, mercurial, moods.
17. Uses sex to control. [Prone to Somatic Narcissism that appeals to whatever their social class esteems.]
18. Does not share ideas, feelings, emotions. [Unless manipulating.]
19. Conversation controller. Must have the first and last word. [Shows no real interest in other people except when gathering intelligence they plan to use later to hurt, publicly humiliate, or to shame other people.]
20. Is very slow to forgive others. Hangs onto resentment. [Punishes indefinately for any percieved or suspected unproven , unintentional, or openly disproven transgressions.]
21. Secret life. Hides money, friends, activities. [Career criminal mindset — especially obvious in White Collar Narcissists.]
22. Likes annoying others. Likes to create chaos and disrupt for no reason. [Manufactures chaos in the lives of their preferred scapegoats and Narcissistic Supply sources to gain attention and alleviate feelings of active boredom; gets an endorphin rush that produces a pleasure response rather than duress when and if they are pulling emotional or psychological stings of victims.]
23. Moody – switches from nice guy to anger without much provocation. [Often described as “Dr. Jeckyl – Mr. Hyde” personality type or a Mommy Dearest.]
24. Repeatedly fails to honor financial obligations. [Extremely prone to hiding assets in high conflict divorce situations out of spite or refusing to pay child support in full or on time.]
25. Seldom expresses appreciation. [Unpleasable people.]
26. Grandiose. Convinced he/she knows more than others and is correct in all he/she does. [Self-aggrandizing by nature, with grandiosity actively nurtured.]
27. Lacks ability to see how he/she comes across to others. Defensive when confronted with his/her behavior. Never his/her fault. [Blames the victim or gaslights to claim equal responsibility for them behaving poorly and their targeted victim reacting.]
28. Can get emotional, tearful. This is about show or frustration rather than sorrow. [Only expresses basic emotions: hunger, tired, rage, annoyance, frustration, dictatorial and demanding behaviors.]
29. He/she breaks woman’s or men’s spirits to keep them dependent. [If Narcopath or ASPD by comorbid nature, likely to be bi-sexual or to engage in same sex acts in order to manipulate other people far easier.]
30. Needs threats, intimidations to keep others close to him. [Bullies, badgers, and throws temper tantrums in order to get their way regularly.]
31. Sabotages partner. Wants her to be happy only through him and to have few or no outside interests and acquaintances. [Prone to undermining and sabotaging, then taking pleasure in pretending they did no such thing.]
32. Highly contradictory. [Deliberately stonewalls, refuses to self-educate; vertical thinking the only form of intellectual capability due to nurture or nature.]
33. Convincing. Must convince people to side with him/her. [Pathologically lies and presents a false self to win friends they deceive and loyalty from people who are easily manipulated . Tends to surround themselves with Flying Monkeys or a “Narcissistic Harem” (comprised of lusty fans of both sexes) ] .
34. Hides his/her real self. Always “on”.
35. Kind only if he/shes getting from you what he/she wants. [Punishes anyone who failes to be impressed with their behavior or who refuses to acquiesce to irrational demands and bullish temper tantrums.]
36. He/she has to be right. He has to win. He has to look good. [Will do or say whatever it takes to self promote.]
37. He/she announces, not discusses. He/she tells, not asks.
38. Does not discuss openly, has a hidden agenda. [Prone to overt and covert social manipulating and /or outright Machiavellianism for “fun” and “sport”; easily prone to engaging in things like “politicial bloodlusting” or religious abuse of preferred scapegoat targets they like to abuse or misuse.]
39. Controls money of others but spends freely on himself/herself.
40. Unilateral condition of, “I’m OK and justified so I don’t need to hear your position or ideas”. [Zero interest in understanding the ideas, needs, or intention of others unless during a mirroring or love bombing phase; mirrors in order to con and manipulate, pretending to truly agree with or care about what a targeted mark or love interst says, does, wants to do, or thinks.]
41. Always feels misunderstood. [Is always understood quite perfectly by any person who has been used and abused by them as a preferred scapegoat or plaything.]
42. You feel miserable with this person. He/she drains you. [May be referred to as a “psychic vampire”, “negative Nellie”, or constant underminer.]
43. Does not listen because he/she does not care. [Goal of every conversation is to “win”, not to listen, collaborate, or ever to understand.]
44. His/her feelings are discussed, not the partners.
45. Is not interested in problem-solving. [Vertical thinker interested in top-down structure; only feels like a ‘winner’ making someone a “Loser”.]
46. Very good at reading people, so he can manipulate them. [Highly successful in most social situations, mainly due to facility gaslighting.]