Covert Narcissists and Narcopaths tend to rely on their scapegoats, family members, and “targets” to keep the abuse they foist off on others a secret. If you know someone who is struggling, dealing with a toxic family crisis or workplace situation, sometimes the very best thing in the world you can do for them is simply to be their friend. Send a happy text. Smile. Encourage them to have faith in themselves and to cultivate a positive outlook with outside interests.
Emotional vampires can bleed your spirit dry — sometimes by doing something so simple as casting a caustic glance, sharing a hateful word, making or implying threats, or even by their inaction. Supportive friends can’t fix the problem — but if a victim needs to talk about their experience, let them. If they are not ready to talk or don’t want to, that’s okay as well.
The important part is not to offer coping strategies or advice apart from telling a person they are loved, valuable, and to remind them that if another person chooses to act badly and play the part of a fool, their caustic behavior is karmically on THEM.
Their bad actions are never the fault or responsibility of the person forced to endure their attacker’s sickness. Covert people do whatever it takes to hide the very real fact they are shaming, abusing, gaslighting, bullying, and harming their victims whenever they find just the right time to sadistically twist a knife in their preferred target’s back in secret.
Helpful hashtag terms to do keyword research on the subject include but are not limited to the following key terms:
If you are dealing with an especially difficult or temperamental person, use great care while testing their personality for telltale heart symptoms. Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, people with Borderline Personality Disorder, and people with Histrionic Personality Disorders all tend to have unique poker tells (of sorts) that offer clues to their individual psychological, emotional, and even biological makeup.
All are fundamentally egocentric, attention seeking individuals who thrive on manufacturing chaos publicly or privately. All act with a pervasive sense of entitlement used to justify or bully other people into overlooking the truly harmful psychological effects on both victims and ultimately themselves that they do.
Bolder in youth about covert attacks, the older a person with a personality disorder gets, typically two or more things happen that are causally related to their lifelong habits of pandering to their own egocentric, impulsive, and “short term thinking” based behaviors. All tend to get less covert with their manipulations while losing the power to win friends and influence people (as far as being able to con them) when they get older.
Narcissists tend to get mean in their “golden years”. Once youth and beauty are no longer weapons in their luring and deceiving arsenals, they tend to become openly derogatory about perceived rivals. As the men lose their physical strength and women lose their beauty, there is no grace involved… simply many trips to the gym, shopping mall, beauty salon, and (in extreme cases of Somatic dysfunction) the plastic surgeon.
There is no aging gracefully for these folks, with losing their youthful good looks and physical signs of aging on the face, hands, skin, and body start to appear. By the time age and lifestyle related illnesses start to appear, losing their health tends to cause them extreme anxiety coupled with a tendency to lash out at other innocent bystanders with latent hostility and raging fury.
People forced to take care of elderly relatives who are caustic tend to need counseling or ongoing support group therapy involvement themselves to deal with the effects of abuse. Adult children of Narcissists and people with Cluster B personality disorders who take on a care-taking role with their Narcissistic Mother, Narcissistic Father, or toxic family relative tend to live life as if they are a prisoner of war.
Once a narcissistic parent or toxic family member dies, the traumatized scapegoat has a chance at a new life. Sadly, though, years of enduring Narcissistic Abuse tends to leave victim/caregiver bodies worn out. Between the adrenal fatigue and anxiety from living in constant fight or flight mode wears them out, medical ailments like anxiety, high blood pressure, ulcers, and even cancer have a chance to take root and fully form.
The condition most kids or adult children of narcissistic parents end up developing is called “C-PTSD”. It’s actually a specific form of PTSD that soldiers who have been held prisoner in POW camps have after being forced to endure emotional neglect and psychological torture for long periods of time.
Noting that Narcissists are the ultimate bullies, it’s no wonder they are able to keep one foot out of the grave crushing their favorite targets and scapegoats spirits long after the abusive person dies.
The brainwashing techniques they use (including lying, manipulating, and outright gaslighting) are truly criminal. Courts around the world are starting to realize what a huge drain these sorts of people are to the global economy. Since many of these emotional predators prefer to have large families, they are more successfully able to teach offspring to act like little Narcissists or Sociopaths following a rule of comply or be ridiculed, shamed, and exiled.
Such parents tend to foster home environments complete with daily arguing, constant backstabbing, narcissistic abuses running all the far too common gamut of variety (physical, sexual, social, mental, emotional, financial, spiritual), and rampant gaslighting. By encouraging their children to succeed in life by “being tough”, all they truly do is increase the rate of people with Cluster B personality disorders by nurture (rather than inspired by biological nature).
These are all their biggest secret: utterly human, shallow, selfish, boring, and utterly predictable, they want everyone to believe that they are gods among men, all powerful creatures, divine goddess figures. But get this — at their core, they are functionally incapacitated as humans, with their personality type destined for Darwinian-style social evolutionary execution.
No species thrives long term that eats its own young in the nest. No species thrives if and when parents continue to hunt adult children or dominate their time and psychology by monopolizing all of their time.
Narcissists and Narcissistic Sociopaths [Narcopaths] truly are a personality type that fails by the time they start hitting their thirties. It’s all downhill for most of them by or long before the age of 65.