Happiness depends on ourselves, especially as targeted scapegoats. It does not matter who hurt you, who does not like you, or who does not approve of a single, solitary thing we say, think, believe, “intend”, mean, or do. For better or for worse, spiritual happiness depends solely on ourselves as people.
No circumstance or another human being has the right, ability, or power to disable us spiritually.
When we embrace our core nature of good, there can be nothing outside of ourselves. People who are less than kind, loving, or insightful are still comprised of the same atoms and molecules as those who are inherently aware of their connection to the divine.
We, the people, of the United States of Conscious Union, are wholly comprised of stardust and the essence of all that is…
We are stardust.
We are golden.
Ultimately, we are divine.
Does that mean we’re running the show for everyone? That we’re personally responsible for all things seen and unseen, made and unmade, done and undone in the world of third and fourth-dimensional spiritual equations?
Despite the very real fact that a cell in our human eye does not know all or have control of what external stimuli it sees, it’s still an integral and connected part of our being.
Eye for an eye, in that sense, means that despite the very real fact the view or perspective our right eye sees does not, by logical design, take in things from the exact perspective of the left, that they are not somehow able to influence the other on a deeper, more profound metaphysical scale.
What it means is your eye plus my eye communicating with the collective unconscious brain makes up a logical subset — a directory, of sorts, mapping the existential intake of all projected and subsequently redacted material images connecting internally with cosmic flow insight that matters.
The creation of matter is a key function of the mind’s eye, in that without a seer of image, form, or essence, there is no catalyst to perceive.
Without perception both in depth and horizontal breadth, there is no big bang theory moment.
Without the ability to be seen… witnessed… observed… there is, essentially, nothingness.
That’s part of the very real physical reason why going no contact with an abusive family member, toxic peer group, or narcissistic culture works out so well for the spiritual beings who take it upon themselves to literally turn their focus elsewhere.
Because without observation or interaction…
Without emotional energy on which to feed…
Toxic people starve emotionally, intellectually, and ultimately dissolve from gray matter in the minds of their victims intellectually.
The body takes roughly 2 years to regenerate itself from top to bottom.
That means every cell is regrown anew — replaced.
Most people who are diagnosed with C-PTSD or suspect they have it tend to experience a nearly total life and body overhaul after 18-24 months of going absolutely NO CONTACT with an Abuser and any person or peer group who has been made aware of their propensity to situationally abuse and still chooses to socially interact with them and enable.
It’s simply NOT a coincidence from a medical standpoint, nor is it a mystery why going NO CONTACT with abusive people and their Flying Monkeys helps people heal from a mental health perspective after being away from people that traumatize them compulsively by habit, either.
Situational ethics MATTER.
When we mindfully create and enforce healthy boundaries in life — then choose to use our God-given free will choice power to (from a functional perspective) turn away from people prone to enable or abuse — we effectively cut off energetic supply stemming from our own cells that we previously willingly funnelled or siphoned off to fuel our captors.
The mind is a terrible thing to waste, they say.
The “Them” made famous in beatnik days.
The over 30 crowd who made a choice to leave people behind emotionally and intellectually.
Mother Theresa didn’t have time to worry about the size or shape of her thighs. She had shit to do (and she did things in a mighty powerful way).
When you are heartbroken at 10, it’s not the same thing as when you are 15.
When you are heartbroken at 16, it’s not the same thing as when you are broken-hearted at 28.
People who experience love fraud, are abused by their family members when they are growing up, or are still being abused by senior citizen parents still living today fundamentally change on a soul level.
Their perceptions are transfixed.
Mesmerized by the power of their abuser, victims of profound gaslighting and repeated trauma tend to feel intellectually, socially, and emotionally estranged.
Estranged from themselves.
Estranged from their own nature.
Estranged from their own personal fates.
You see, that’s the trick people who pervasively play mind games with other people try to pull.
They are the Trickster. The Coyote. The Jokester. The Mage.
People who thrive energetically by feeding off the soul energy of other people rather than from source are broken entities, destined for social evolutionary destruction.
We don’t mean to make it sound harsh or retributive — but victims of extreme Narcissist Abuse tend to simply know this fundamental truth cellularly in part due to our core nature.
People Pleasers are problem solvers, not masochists.
Masochists are playing an entirely different energetic game.
When a People Pleaser encounters an emotional vampire or soul-sucking bottom feeder, they tend to try as hard as they can to give that person or peer group every chance to see the proverbial light.
To feel inspired.
People Pleasers are catalysts (by nature) who provoke pro-social and positive CHANGE.
But an energy vampire… they are a different kind of being.
No less important in the grand scheme of things that the artful yet cosmically artificial process that provokes decay.
In a world with a perfectly balanced systems theory recycling in motion, the process of birth, growth, death, rebirth, and change are life moments to be held in sacred trust.
To be celebrated.
As above, so below… ashes to ashes, dust to dust… if it weren’t for Rustoleum the Tin Man might rust.
There’s literally nothing in a systems theory based universe that does not fulfill its divine purpose except for a rogue agent or cell deformity, and even then, the deviations of life path and trajectory courses for all sentient, material, living, or “non-living” stationary objects remain something wholly positive for the Creator to examine.
One must consider the Creator as being an entity or “soul” in and of his, her, or its own right be possible in theory.
After all, Pascal made that famous wager. It would be a shame to let it go to waste.
If the Creator is sentient and exists… and all matter, essence, or form stems from it…
Then technically speaking, injecting amoral or atypical deviations into a systems based theory could be nothing more than an experiment.
A way to “shake things up” proverbially (so to speak).
A gift of sorts to the Creator, something to spice up the storyline a bit.
Add some cliff hangers.
Change the channel.
Pipe in cable.
Start a human collective consciousness mini-series on the HBO channel of intergalactic TV.
If God is watching and paying attention while time loops endlessly, it must be boring as HELL (pun intended) having to watch the same patterns and dramas play out endlessly. ]
As for this whole CLUSTER B PERSONALITY DISORDER thing, it’s gotten old. Human beings are catching on to the pattern and this generation of sentient beings are figuring out how to use things like the Law Of Attraction and the Power of Mindfulness to take hold of their emotions and re-steer their focus psychologically.
Starve a predator of its prey, and what happens?
Start to limit a predator’s sphere of influence by narrowing its hunting ground parameters, and what happens?
Whether WWII Grandpa recently passed away waving his American flag and proudly proclaiming how his all-white, predominately Protestant generation was so great it will be forever more considered better than every other past, present, or future generation or Grandma was one of the first women to cut her hair short, wear slacks, and be able to do things like vote, drive a car, or own property without being socially disparaged matters little when and if human minds let the impact of their historical narratives socially fade.
Americans are at a point of social redemption — or cosmic failure — entering the 21st century age.
With rampant Nationalism on the decline, Dinosaur hold-overs who pledge allegiance to toxic ancestors are likely to operate from a fear-based thinking platform.
The more they focus on power, control, greed, attention-seeking gluttony, and the promotion of fear… the lower their vibration intellectually and spiritually.
Not to give the ending away too soon but SPOILER ALERT.
Vertical, competitive thinking based on strict adherence of mind power to a cosmic clock ticking out tocks of linear string lends itself to spiritual decay. And guess what that means?
Time is running out for any person or peer group that from an evolutionary perspective is socially resistant to biologically inspired change.
Can’t change? Can’t evolve, plain and simple.
Cannot evolve? Can’t… can’t.
Bottom line, can’t can’t DO anything. It cannot improve, it cannot maintain.
What started the first downward spiral for the psychology of mankind is likely to have been the first time a human — only partially self-aware — decided he or she needed to do something other than be.
To be or not to be — that WAS the question most likely to have inspired perpetual motion when it came to thinking, noting that when humans stop trusting the universe and start trying to please a God or outwit karma that they are already trapped in an infinite hyperloop that ultimately causes the perception of negative.
A man or woman standing in the garden of Eden, granted dominion… what exactly was their task — their role — their function in life to do each day?
But to a bio unit that thinks it is self-important and becomes (at least in part) self-aware, dominion over — that’s the hook, line, and sinker right there.
If a Creator, using divine wisdom, created a perfectly functioning systems theory and started to run simulations, one line of buggy code could take paradise to lethal boredom (on the one hand) or into a new hellishly dark, ugly, distorted, and twisted form on the other.
A creature who views being given care and control of their immediate environment grasps the word “dominion” from a logical standpoint as permission to abuse?
A new Cluster B life form and toxic family unit are likely to be formed.
Seeking out those who are biologically predisposed to miss the entire point of LIFE entirely, Cluster B deviant personality types literally are the root cause of ejection from the Garden.
It truly matters not their race, age, socioeconomic status, class, nationality of origin, gender, sexual orientation, or religion. All that matters is the moment someone embraces competitive rather than collaborative, future based thinking, we are all sunk as a human collective.
Because downward sucking motion spirals have one logical outcome… extinction of the life form or pattern that entrains with one.
When egotistic, self-aggrandizing, entitlement based thinkers start to speak, their toxic thought forms tend to infect the primitive human hindbrain subconsciously. Once the subconscious fear base is activated in a human, they become more animalistic.
Literally, human minds regress to a pack animal, predatory state of evolutionary consciousness.
Such is the fate of all human beings who fail to do the necessary moral and social conscience development work necessary to literally create the intellectual antibodies necessary to prevent chronic infection.
Toxic people spread and promote toxic thinking virally using words to transmit infection.
They are infected — but not physically sick. PHYSICALLY speaking, the stronger the predator, the more likely they are to physically be thriving.
[Only the good die young, remember?]
But that’s not the way it has to be.
Notice we did not use the word should.
The big secret no one who promotes toxic thinking ever wants ANYONE to know is that human beings have a choice.
Hate your family? It’s okay to leave.
Cannot stand talking to your toxic neighbor? It’s alright to avoid them without being rude… simply by deciding to remain active and stay busy.
Does your adult child treat you like crap? It’s totally alright not to like them.
It’s also okay to limit or lower the frequency of contact you have with any person or peer group who simply does not value you as a person.
Conversely, it’s absolutely moral to turn away from any person or group of people who, for whatever their laundry list of reasons, elects to use and abuse rather than validate or appreciate you.
What that means is, humans have a choice.
We have a choice of how to spend our days, noting that how we spend our days is how we spend our lives.
If a person makes you feel bad about yourself because they never have anything nice to say about you or to you, stop listening. That’s the first step to learning how to psychologically depersonalize abuse and disengage.
Enmeshment is a tricky thing.
The way to cure toxic thinking is to learn to spot it the moment it happens, to observe and witness where the mind, body, and emotions go with it, and to mindfully elect to psychologically and/or to socially disengage.
What remains for human beings after they start to turn down the volume of social chatter and they start turning up the volume on the voices that present the most toxic of arguments and theories is we have the unique ability to discern.
When examining critically the speech patterns of other humans, we are able to glimpse insights into other human beings’ character and fundamental nature.
Arguably, this is a peak time to reflect, self-analyze, compare our own internal thought patterns and emotional response habits with theirs, and can align by choice with their truth, our own, a hybrid conglomeration of the two, or we can debunk the entire process.
Debunk… wait, what?
Bunk. It’s garbage — pure nonsense, a trickster’s game.
If something is “bunk”, it tends to be an entraining mishmash of time-wasting chatter.
Bunk is nonsensical, word salad type thought patterns formed into psychologically entertaining but ultimately distracting arguments.
To debunk a theory, one proves it wrong. To debunk a brain, one must — using pure logic and free will choice coupled with mindful intent choose to intellectually, emotionally, and physically disengage.
When it comes to toxic thought patterns, it might take a year or it might take a day to tell the mind a thought proven to be foolish or errant is simply not one worth bothering for one second more to entertain.
But when it comes time to debunk a lifestyle, it takes a bit more effort to clear intellectual, emotional, and community space.
One might need to not only realize that certain toxic thinking patterns should NEVER be glossed over or entertained; one also might need to restrict other people from having the ability to blah-blah-blah mind dump into your head caustic commentary that damages emotions and virally infects the human primal hindbrain.
If you are struggling with Narcissistic Abuse recovery issues, STOP.
It’s your enmeshment with toxic thinking patterns and people who are making things hard. Start OVER SIMPLIFYING. Then trust.
Call your toxic mom the second Tuesday of next week from now on if she’s cruel, unloving, unkind, and abusive. She’s not benefiting from being allowed to abuse — and you are not benefitting, either, from trying to lizard brain self-soothe.
If a person of character and worth loves you? Spend more time communicating with them, instead.
There simply does not have to be some big showdown or a need to have your own subjective feelings validated with regard to making decisions in life about who you like to spend personal, professional, or recreational time with — just DO it, just as the Nike commercial says.
Be kind, be polite, set healthy boundaries, and enforce them.
If someone is rude, meet force with equal force. The ruder THEY are, the more one can and should withdraw.
To withdraw energy from a conflict like a competitor is to make a weak choice. That’s letting an Abuser win, to allow them to force other human beings to have to cower in fear or slink away.
There’s a different way — a choice, an option that spiritually evolved people have in life.
It’s 100% alright to simply end a conversation stating something like, “I understand that is your belief and perspective. I simply have a different understanding.”
You don’t have to spend countless hours striving to get them to see things from your side or perspective. You don’t need to try to wake them up or improve the quality of their life and relationship.
It’s THAT SIMPLE.
You simply refuse to personalize or be influenced intellectually or emotionally by their persuasive arguments or subjective opinions. Yes, you validate their belief and subjective opinions simply because that is what decent people do… but no. You simply don’t bother to engage.
And that’s how you starve out the virus.
You deny it of energy, attention, and stop acting like a food source for it to energetically devour day after day.
If a person is Abusive, you go NO CONTACT. If a person willingly chooses to enable an Abuser, in effect volunteering to become an Abuser by Proxy, you disengage with them as a second material step in the process of embracing setting healthy boundaries and enforcing them as a LIFESTYLE, one rooted firmly in any single human actor’s desire to improve their own lives, lifestyles, or to psycho-spiritually embrace CHANGE.
The lizard brain people cannot do it. Neuroplasticity calcifies in human minds for the most part between the ages of 18 and 28. If someone was a jerk when they were a little kid, grew up to become a jerky teenager, and went on to do dastardly things to other human beings and themselves throughout the course of their twenties and thirties, they are not magically going to become trustworthy, kind-hearted, and good natured people in their forties, fifties, sixties, or seventies.
And don’t even get us started talking about the octogenarians who are roaming the planet at present. They are the truly infected thinkers, having lived their entire lives being force fed Fluoride alternating with nationalistic and religious right wing propaganda.
Such heavily calcified thinkers are likely to continue to strive to infect as many other human souls as they can with competitive and socially destructive thinking, noting that as the “Greatest Generation” they view themselves and themselves alone as being socially and emotionally entitled to EVERYTHING THEY WANT.
People who think they are better than others — once they reach the top of the food chain from an age perspective alone — tend to demand everyone self-sacrifice to an extreme level while making every social and emotional attempt to physically please and subsequently be validated by them.
The meaner the snake, the more likely it is to slither wherever it wants and to bite.
Such is the fate of senior citizens with Cluster B personality types, to socially destroy their own family units while cruising around the world randomly lashing out at whoever is in close enough proximity to bite.
Signs of a family with a toxic matriarch or abusive patriarch include having angry cluster B children and grandchildren, typically with whichever among them was the most emotionally sensitive or spiritually in tune with life being relentlessly disenfranchised of family affection.
The more toxic the elder, the more likely they are to do things like abusing their own children throughout childhood, to deny having abused them when they were little throughout their offspring’s adulthood, and to compulsively use and abuse adult children while striving to manufacture sibling rivalry.
If they are really shitty, they will do all they can to estrange grandchildren from their parents.
No matter how much money or social prestige an elderly situational abuser has, the way they tend to treat any person or child who stands up to them in healthy acts of self-advocating will almost inevitably turn out to be bad.
That’s not to say that a Cluster B elder cannot do or say something positive or helpful on occasion. Actually, that’s part of how they ensure psychological dysfunction is firmly rooted in the minds of their subjects.
By giving intermittent positive reinforcement to an adult child, spouse, paramour, or long term family friend, the Abuser is able to trick their target or targets into believing there is hope for them to change.
It’s a ruse to make people think there is a core nature of good inside a toxic person. It’s more honest to say that people who have Cluster B personality disorders are typically intelligent, self-aware, acutely aware of distress or pain in others, and that they know full well how to pretend to be a good person in order to secure themselves social or financial gains.
For mildly infected thinkers, that might mean nothing more than acting two-faced.
For seriously dangerous minds, their play-acting to socially impress becomes more Machiavellian.
But for people striving to disengage from the social and emotional influence of toxic thinkers, discernment is key to learning how to take back power and walk away.
You are who you decide to be.
The past can only be looked at with fresh eyes reviewing it with new insights. That means while it might be over, our impression of it can still be changed.
The future is a mish mosh of who we are, what we think, the choices we make, and the things we do. One cannot host a successful war or dinner party if no one is invited or shows up for a plate.
Take a look around wherever you are at this exact moment.
Is your past there? Your “present”?
Learning how to appreciate the present as a complex series of progressively stacked, mindful moments can be a real gift for a Narcissistic Abuse victim — especially for those with C-PTSD.
Unless your Abuser is standing in the room with you, taking a breath and truly connecting with your current life space (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) can be quite freeing.
Whether you are sitting in an office reading this document, you pulled the post up to read on a laptop computer to read before going to bed, or you are using a cellphone and are reading this article in the space between what happened last and what happens next, you have MOBILITY.
Intellectual mobility is key to the soul.
Look around you. What do you see?
If you don’t like the view — move. While you might have “roots”, you’re NOT a tree.
Take back your life and mind by refusing to make fear-based decisions.
That’s kind of it.
That’s the big mystery solved for kind people.
You are who you decide to be.
Will that be a person too scared to speak up for themselves or advocate for better ways of thinking in their own lives or in the public social sphere? Or a person who steps forth into the world with a smile on their face and a bounce in their proverbial step when and if making logical steps toward purposefully creating their next life chapter in the complex storyline of defining their character simply as a part of the human collective (rather than as a competitor)?
Embracing the ability to changes opens up the ability to appreciate the PROCESS.
You are who you decide to be.
Your best life lesson is your last mistake.
Ah-ha moments in life alter our conceptions of the past and how we related to emotional experiences personally and physically in our bio-housed memories.
And yes, once you figure out that a person has an abusive or and Enabler personality type, it truly is best to leave them with their own kind socially speaking, physically by habit, and without producing any guilt in YOU (their Narcissistic Supply food source).
Will some people learn over time to appreciate you — simply after having time on the pond to appreciate your absence. Maybe.
But ultimately it simply doesn’t matter.
All that matters is now — right now. Who you are in this moment, in this physically defined body, in your own head, presumably located intellectually (at least for the time being) alone in a single body living on THIS planet.
Get right with that.
Make it so.
Be the change you want to see.
Appreciate the now moment.
Learn to see.
Eventually, what seems to happen is there will come a time when the senseless drama we enmesh our minds, bodies, and hearts with socially and emotionally start to seem like exactly what they are — foolish, time-wasting, experiences.
Debunk your internal thought patterns that make one think that just because someone talks, we have to engage. Just because a handful of toxic people want to drink the Jim Jones Kool-Aid does not mean one needs to do so as well simply to be polite.
It’s a wonderful thing, choice.
Let your mind, body, and heart ENGAGE.
It’s totally alright to love people from a distance without feeling compelled to take them on in a psychological debate. It’s also perfectly fine to stop thinking about toxic people as being human beings with valid opinions.
One does not have to be impolite — but letting another person know when they have crossed a line then cutting them off if they are not able to treat you with respect is absolutely perfectly morally, spiritually, and ethically OKAY.
Because throughout the course of a human life, spiritual character matters far more than DNA.