Dear Readers… if you ever are worried or concerned that it might be too late in life to shift your thinking on a vexing emotional issue, don’t be. Narcissistic Abuse recovery can happen at any age or stage in life. Case in point — a shared note from one of our Narcissistic Abuse recovery fan page followers over on “Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Flying Monkeys — Oh My!” (TM) on Facebook. The person has been working with us for the past few months, has mindfully done all of the reading and video watching we recommended, and they lovingly shared with us the following update roughly 120 days into recovery in life.
READER NOTE — “I had the best day in a long time today. Part of the reason (a large part) is because of the vindication your site has given me. I am not crazy, it wasn’t something I made up. I can move towards some sort of healing. I will keep reading and I will share (through your email) when I can. I think I have what you call C-PTSD. I’m pretty sure, although I don’t really understand why, but I do know I have feared for my life and for my Father’s and sister… and I fear for my grandchildren. I am not a Dr. so I cannot diagnose but I think the person I am dealing with is histrionic… a narc and a psychopath. Just because of what I have read and how it applies to the way she is and the things she has done. She thought because my Father got sick he needed to die so she could continue her life. I took a terrible beating from her when I was 19. She is 4 years older than me. That’s when I knew there was something terribly wrong with her. I will be 60 in a few months…she just turned 64. It’s been a long and toxic road. I will share more through email when I can. Thanks so much for listening, and thank you for the message… my day was truly blessed and for that and for this site I am so very thankful. I have health issues… I don’t want to sound like a drama queen, but this has almost killed me. I have a lot of health issues and I’m sure even more mental health issues..lol. Bye for now and thanks once again for your help and understanding.”
OUR ANSWER — The wonderful part about Narcissistic Abuse recovery is therapists are NOT the first line of defense. People with Cluster B are typically diagnosed after one or more of their friends or family come forward. But here’s the kicker — since NPD and ASPD are untreatable, whether they get a formal diagnosis or not matters not a hoot. All that matters is victims learn to spot the warning signs of toxic thinkers, that they un-enmesh, and that in situations where they have the ability to go LOW to NO CONTACT they do. Then, learning how to go GRAY ROCK like a master happens over time. The stronger your self-discipline stopping you from reacting by learning to observe and “sort”, the faster life all around you is likely to get better. Recovering from C-PTSD (from that point forward) takes approximately 18-24 months for the biochemistry of FIGHT OR FLIGHT to calm down. After that, it’s up to YOU who you decide to be. Setting healthy boundaries and learning how to enforce them over time will help week out frenemies and people who willingly choose to enable bloodletters. If you think the person in question has HPD with a mean streak added, trust your instincts. Scapegoat targets truly are the ONLY people who tend to know what their abuser is like because ALL Cluster B are situational abuse hiding experts.
Friends, family, fellow Americans, and to all the wonderful and loving people around the world who read our web page and share our post links both in public and privately with friends and family behind the scenes — Keep The Faith and EDUCATE. Together, we can make a difference in the lives of everyone around the world who is starting to suffer from C-PTSD as a result of narcissistic people who behave in ways en mass as well as alone that by the measure of every human generation (both past and present) are considered abominable.
Help us help YOU help everyone stop the epidemic of victim shaming and the toxic thinking patterns that have been socially promoted between active toxic thinkers and their children. If we all strive to make Narcissistic Abuse “no big deal” to have experienced as a victim — meaning, not something to feel ashamed to have experienced as a target, collateral damage victim, or as a scapegoat — men, women, and children around the world are going to be far more likely to not only open up and start having frank discussions about the nature of abuse in social settings, but to actually be able to make collective peer thinking changes that are likely to allow all humans to rise together and heal.
While 16% or so of the general population in the world may meet diagnostic criteria for having Cluster B personality disorder (per the DSM5 diagnostic criteria), that leaves a resounding 80 plus percent of the world who, once united in psychological awareness, are going to be far stronger TOGETHER. Rise up, speak the truth at the right place at the right time for the RIGHT reasons, and together… together.
Together we — the collective we — regardless of age, gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, or national origin — WE, the United States of HUMANITY. Together, we can make a DIFFERENCE.